a year without a real job (and 10 other things ive stopped doing).

its the middle of april now, and if youve been following around here for a while, you know that the middle of april is also the one year anniversary of me quitting my job(s) at joanns. quitting joanns was definitesly a hard decision, but ultimately, it was absolutely neccesary. we did need the money, but we also needed me to be home more, less stressed out and to be able to pursue the schooling and self employment opportunities that would actually help us acheive the kind of life that we want. and looking back over the past year, cutting out that one really big source of stress/tension/anxiety/problems really served as a catalyst for a whole bunch of other, albiet smaller, changes that, all together, have added up to HUGE changes around here. i mean, im still the same super annoying-uptight-no-fun-at-all victoria i always was, but i promise, i used to be way worse. 

so aside from quitting my job, what else have i stopped doing this year? 

1. drinking soda. 

2. playing phone/ipad games. 

3. buying things just to buy things. 

4. clipping coupons. 

5. going to two grocery stores. 

6. treating our apartment as temporary. 

7. letting my diet ruin my life. 

8. chasing freebies. 

9. keeping things for stupid reasons. 

10. being "friends" with people that make me feel bad. 

i wont bother going into detail about what went into/resulted from each, since really they all kind of overlap, but together all these small changes added up to make huge changes in how i live my life: im way less stressed out, i have way more free time, i have more spending money, im less anxious and for the first time in my life, im actually able to focus on making long-term goals and changes. 

case in point: right now were elbow-deep in some major home projects. the kind of thing that a year ago, i wasnt even able to mentally process because of how busy and cluttered my life was. 

did quitting my terrible job instantly fix everything? no. did i instantly jump into 100% dream-following mode? no. do i even know exactly where were headed from here? no. but was it absolutely life changing? yes. not in the big, dramatic ways that one usually associates with quitting their day job, but in lots and lots of small ways that have added up to givign me the space and freedom to dedicate time and energy to making life better for all of us, in a way that i really wasnt able to before. yeah, i dont have a real job. yeah i dont really have a satisfactory answer for any of the people who ask me what it is i do. but thanks to taking the leap and quitting joanns, I'm a better wife, a better mom, and all around a better person with a better life then we ever had when i was working. 

so happy unemployent-aversary to me. 

if i could make an honest baby registry (a definitely not sponsored post).

yesterday james and i (along with alice) went to buy buy baby to make our registry for baby #2. not that i was all that keen on even making a registry for our second kid because i feel weird even having a baby shower this time let alone asking people for things, but, i didnt exactly have a baby shower with alice (we lived in arizona with zero local family/friends) so i guess theres no way around having a shower. and people have been asking what we want/need for a while. since this is our second baby and 1. we already have quite a bit of the basics, 2. have a much better perspective of what a new baby actually needs, and 3. live a much different lifestyle than we did when we were expecting alice, we have a very short list of very specific items. actually its mostly diapers. i just checked and its literally more than half diapers. im just really boring, ok? also, babies use a LOT of diapers. 

even though making the registry wasnt exactly my most favorite baby prep activity (mainly because we got stuck fiddling with different strollers for like an hour even though im not even 100% sold that we even need a new stroller), it was really amazing to see just how much things have changed in the past four years since the last time we made a baby registry. i mean, when i was pregnant with alice buy buy baby didnt even exist, diaper bags that dont look like diaper bags were like a brand new emerging trend, and there were like, no options for furniture that was affordable AND attractive. so that was neat. also the free goodie bag. buy buy baby doesnt mess around with the goodie bag. 

but in all honesty, with the exception of a safe place to sleep and the obvious mountain of diapers, babies really dont need most of whats out there. even my super boring overly practical gender neutral registry feels pretty excessive (to me). and it kind of got me thinking about what i would really ask for, if we could eschew social conventions for just a minute. i mean, ive been a new mom before, i think i have a pretty good idea of what i actually want. and its not 300 different contraptions and appliances or a dozen tiny little hats. 

(disclaimer, this post was NOT sponsored in any way by buy buy baby OR any of the companies/products i am about to mention, HOWEVER the links used throughout may or may not be affiliate or referral links depending on whether they offer that sort of thing)

so without any further ado, heres what id put on an honest baby registry: 

1. an amazon fresh membership. we happen to live in an area where, given that you pay the appropriate membership fee, amazon will totally deliver groceries to your house. and you know whats REALLY hard to do with a newborn?  going to the grocery store. 

2. a professional house cleaning. ill admit that i am MUCH better at keeping a clean house than i ever was before, despite having a three year old and being six months pregnant. but nothing quite feels as good as a perfectly spotless spic-and-span clean that only a professional cleaning service can deliver. especially when youve just had a baby. 

3. amazon giftcards. the thing with new babies is they frequently need weird random things that you really cant anticipate in advance. and then OF COURSE the first (or second, or third) store you go to looking for it doesnt have any and youve just run all over town looking for the pacifier that the hospital gave you and nobody has it. but chances are, amazon does, and you can avoid the whole ordeal and have those pacifiers in two business days. also, amazon was BY FAR my favorite place to get diapers cause the prices are fantastic AND you can buy in bulk without leaving the house. 

4. giftcards for pizza. true story: when alice was born jamess (super weird) boss at the time gave us a $50 gift card for pizza. at first we were like "seriously? pizza?" but after a few weeks, we realized that was actually one of the most useful things anyone gave us. having a newborn is an exhausting and emotional experience for everyone but pizza really makes it all better. 

5. wine. lots and lots of wine (or scotch. i also like scotch). i really shouldnt have to explain this one, but... 

6. some adult company. seriously, come over and hold my baby and talk to me about something other than babies while i do something with two hands. i had a couple friends do this when alice was born and that was by far the BEST gift i got from anyone. 

unfortunately, buy buy baby does not sell any of these things, so, we registered for diapers and a stroller...

sidenote: if you happen to be shopping for a friend thats expecting a baby, i promise you, one of these gifts will me much more appreciated in the long run than a giant stuffed animal or big, noisy contraption. 

life lately. (and our march goal progress).

a long, long time ago (its honestly hard to believe ive been blogging long enough to say that) i used to do a "month in review" post at the end of the month with photos and tidbits about the past month and lately ive started to miss that. especially as life has gotten crazier and things are shifting with the blog and im not really writing much about our general family activities anymore. march really made me miss this old feature. march was one of those months that really flew by.

among the highlights were our first real family trip, probably the best wedding ive ever been to, beach days, bridal showers, baby showers, family dinners and days at disneyland. in a lot of ways i was a little too busy enjoying life to get to the computer to work on serious blog posts. especially since, you know, i have school and james has work and we still have all our other normal adult things to do. 

but theres also been a lot going on behind the scenes, stuff that i want to write about, stuff that i probably should be writing about, but stuff that i cant ever really get myself around to actually writing about. 

like this pregnancy. pregnancy has not been kind to me. i mean, im not all that alarmed/surprised about how things are going, because ive done this before. i know that im just not one of those women that gets to go about her normal life while pregnant, and i really dont enjoy this process all that much (like seriously, can the stork be real please?). i was really sick for a good four months, i am really tired basically all the time, and (very much unlike last time) i have had to deal with horrendous back pain on top of my usual fibromyalgia related issues, and really this whole time ive barely been able to function as a human. and thats not even getting into the emotional effects of constantly feeling ugly and gross as i slowly transform into a huge, greasy, sweaty, useless bipedal land whale that is vastly inferior to seemingly every other pregnant woman that gets to just go on doing 20x the things i do in a day and still have nice hair. 

i dont want this to come off as being unnecessarily negative because even though yeah, pregnancy totally sucks (which i really feel like women are not allowed to say/talk about but thats a rant for an entirely different day) were all very excited about the new baby (which, for the record, we do not know the gender of) and the assorted preparations that we get to work on. im just, equally as excited at the prospect of finally not being pregnant anymore (and wouldnt be at all opposed to baby coming a bit early the way ive heard second babies have a tendency of doing). 

and as if a new baby wasnt a big enough change to go through right now, james and i have also decided to embrace/move towards a more minimalist lifestyle. actually thats kind of a lie, were getting close to embracing full-blown minimalism around here. see, in a lot of ways weve really been weighed down by the sheer amount of crap in our lives, and over the past year or so have been slowly making changes in our habits (buying only what we absolutely need, getting rid of things we dont use, etc.) and values (people and experiences over things, quality over quantity, efficiency over excess). this has been a slow and gradual process, though recently, weve just been on a mission to get rid of all the things. and it feels SO good. 

we literally own less right now than we have ever owned in our marriage and the more things we get rid of, the more things we see that we can totally get rid of. its like a vicious cycle thats also COMPLETELY FREAKING FANTASTIC. there are surfaces in this apartment that im not sure ive ever seen empty, and the place feels HUGE compared to when we moved in. and no, we are nowhere near being finished. did i mention we havent even gotten the new, smaller, more efficient bedroom furniture yet? for a long time we worried about where wed put another baby, but now its starting to look like baby #2 will get its own WHOLE CORNER in our room. maybe even with an actual (mini) crib. the only downside to this whole process is its kind of a mess: one area gets torn up, we make a big pile of stuff we dont want, put the stuff we do want away and then have to deal with the pile before moving on to the next area, lather, rinse, repeat. this constant state of flux is not great for my anxiety (though, removing the clutter is actually totally great for my anxiety!). 

putting all our physical possessions into their place has also had me trying to figure out how to put all my different interests/efforts into their place. the past couple years has been awesome as far as finding things that im good at/make me happy/put us on a path to me actually providing a second income from home, BUT i cant give 100% to all of them. school, blog, shop, jamberry, theyre all great. i love all of them and they all have their different strengths and benefits, but its really getting to be too much trying to juggle all of them. realistically, even though its the slowest going, finishing/doing well in school is really necessary so that i can build the skills that ill need wherever i end up in my creative pursuits, and investing time and effort into a strong blog/web presence probably wisest since that will give me a foundation for launching any kind of actual business. and honestly, im running out of steam and inspiration when it comes to the shop and jamberry, but i also really dont want to just flat out quit either of them (especially when its jamberry that has the most/easiest earning potential). so what do i do now? i dont know yet. 

so thats whats been going on around here lately, and since its a fresh new month, why dont we quickly check in on our goal progress this month: 

blog: 

with a solid foundation for my content/branding coming together, its getting a lot easier (in theory) to plan posts and write consistently (of course, in practice real life keeps getting in the way), and lately ive been working on less conventional ways to connect with my readers/other bloggers that i think are more effective than the traditional sponsorship/link up route. 

shop: 

we traded patchwork for the silver lake market, and while it wasnt a financial success, we did it, and tomorrow ill be doing my second craft fair of the year (the community bazaar in anaheim), so the craft fair related goals are coming along nicely, even if more design-oriented things are more or less on hold. 

family: 

this month we have gotten WAY better at having intentional family time every week, and while james and i didnt get a date date (march had some kind of big thing every single weekend) we did do the silver lake flea market together without alice. homeschooling though, i need to work harder at finding better (age appropriate) activities. 

home: 

you probably read about our most recent trip to ikea, and how we totally got the credenza situation taken care of before the bed/mattress. but we also DID pick a bed and mattress and are making GREAT progress with decluttering so our home goals are sailing along nicely. 

financial: 

march was still slow work-wise for james but we are working on figuring out a reasonable budget plan, our savings account is inching along, and weve made a couple big payments to the credit card, so i cant complain here. 

personal: 

school is going amazingly well, i actually got the only perfect score on my illustration midterm, and im learning a lot (which is whats most important), and im really finding a lot more confidence in the kitchen. jamberry though, i dont know if im being lazy or if maybe thats run its course, but i suppose i should give it some more time. 

so whats going on in your life lately?