january happenings.

hey there, happy february! ive heard a lot of people refer to january as "the monday of months", and i cant quite argue with that. we made it through january and are very much IN 2016 (and hopefully not still writing 2015 on all our checks... ahem). 
anyway... as part of 2016s fresh starts, i decided to do this blogging thing a little bit differently: i printed out editorial calendars for the entire year and am planning posts and series way in advance. im also batching my work as much as i can, doing all the writing or photos or scheduling for a group of posts all at the same time. i really like doing things this way for a few reasons: 1. i can be more intentional in my post planning, keeping things seasonally appropriate and not missing out on key holidays (which ive never, really been good at before), 2. i can put together better and more cohesive post series by planning them out all at once, and 3. i can work ahead of myself so i can do things like finish all of januarys blog work an entire week early (just in time to have a really bad health week right when school starts, as per usual so, actually, im not ahead anymore). to be completely honest, id love to perfect this system to have blog posts done like a month (or more!) in advance so i can do better DIY projects and such. 
but theres one big downside here: working this way means theres not a ton of room for like, normal daily life kind of stuff. I'm sure there will be more in the future as i find the right balance here, but for now i figured ill keep up with my old "monthly update" posts as the first post of every month (as opposed to the first monday, as i was doing before). since i dont have big yearly goals to "check in" on every month, im changing the format a bit: instead of a long ramble about life lately followed by a recap of that months goal progress, im going to steal a little something from my friend carrie annes "snapshot" series, and just pop in with a quick list of whats been happening here lately. (aside from this new way ive been writing blog posts)
so without any further ado, here are januarys happenings: 
benedict turned 6 months old and has all kinds of new tricks! he can sit up and clap and sometimes it seems like he's waving! also, we got our health insurance situation sorted out enough to finally take benny to the doctor. the little guy is perfectly healthy and measures at 50th percentile for weight, 80th for height, and... 99th for head size. so, yeah, no surprises there. also he got shots which resulted in one day of great naps followed by at least a week of terrible naps. 
our car situation is turning out totally ok! first of all, jamess mom is letting us borrow her super fancy lexus hybrid, which is great because: 1. we were only completely without a car for like, three days, 2. i was able to find out first hand that i do not want to actually own a fancy robot car from the future (though the heated seats... im going to miss those), and 3. weve totally been able to thoroughly research what we want to do/can afford car-wise in the long term and not just jump on the first/cheapest thing available. researching cars/loans/insurance/etc. was not fun, but it was a valuable learning experience that will hopefully be over very soon. 
james worked for 4 straight weeks! at any other time of the year this would just be a refreshing change, but to happen in january! what an exciting surprise! its the middle of winter, but all the bills are paid and were all stocked up on buying stuff like its the middle of summer or something!
im mostly getting back into my normal routines for the first time since getting pregnant! having really solid routines for chores and errands and meal planning is what gives me the framework and stability to be an actually-pretty-ok mom and not just a wallowing-in-being-overwhelmed-all-the-time mom. unfortunately, i had at least a year where i just could not make it happen. this month, i made it happen. pretty perfectly i might add (for the first three weeks, last week i got sick though so im not going to count that because chore lists dont count when youre barfing). 
were introducing the concept of chore charts to alice with very mixed results! alice is very much to the age where she needs to start helping around the house on a consistent basis. she wants to help, to do what i do. so far weve figured out that shes totally capable of doing easy chores (with supervision), and is easily motivated by checking off the boxes on her chart. the thing is shes smart. so shes been finding every possible loophole in every chart system we devise for her. including, i am literally not making this up, filling in the box where a sticker would go for doing a chore with a drawing she described as "me crying because im sad that i didnt get to watch a movie because i only got two points". yeah... i dont even know how to turn that back into a lesson about chores...
i kind of have a job right now and its really cool! its not like, a job job but im helping my friend (a drama teacher) with the costumes for her schools jr high play. basically, im getting paid to do crafts with materials that somebody else payed for. also, this is probably the first time ever ive used any of my actual formal education in an employment situation. there really is a first time for everything! 
my school schedule is really great this semester! instead of going to class two or three different days every week, i only go on fridays (for most of the day) and then monday nights (but only today and four more times). so like, i actually have free time sometimes!
im super, super excited to do our taxes! i look forward to doing our taxes every year because thats like, the one time ever i feel like im really good at adult things. we need one (possibly two) more papers to come in the mail and then were good to go. and after taxes we can go buy that car we need to buy...
unfortunately, we did have to say one last goodbye to our beloved disneyland goats. thats pretty much our one really big bummer for last month: thanks to stupid star wars land there are no longer goats to pet at big thunder ranch because big thunder ranch is no longer a thing. 
over all, january was pretty great. exhausting, but really productive and definitely what we needed after our doozy of a december. so hello february, lets do this! (and by this i mostly mean taxes because i just really want to do taxes). 
how was your january? what are your big plans for february? 

the 15 best things to happen in 2015 (and what happened to those 2015 goals).

good morning 2016! and happy new year everyone! hope you didnt party too hard last night (not to brag, but we just had our SIXTH consecutive new years eve of going to bed early because at least half of the family was sick). 
after yesterdays totally downer post, and before i jump into the legitimately awesome stuff i want to do i wanted to take a minute to reflect on all the great things that happened over the last year, as well as catch up the goals i made at the beginning of 2015, so that we can start moving forward from a nice clean slate. and, what better day to do it than new years day? none, obviously. 
moving on to our first order of business, lets get to the 15 best things to happen in 2015: 
1. we had a baby! not only does this mean im not pregnant anymore, but we also got a really cool baby! and i got to give him a totally ridiculous name without anyone noticing how ridiculous it is (except, like, my mom. she knew EXACTLY how ridiculous it is).
2. i got to collaborate on a rap song! no, im not kidding. my favorite rapper mc lars asked twitter about hipster mom stuff and when i (obviously) had the best answers we emailed a bit and he actually used a lot of my suggestions in his song hipster mom. 
3. i got a trophy in pattern making class! pattern making class was NOT easy (for a variety of reasons) but my teacher pushed us all REALLY hard to do the best we could and when i made the largest collection of the class (11 pieces!) she totally recognized my effort. (sidenote, i never did sports so this is probably the literal first time ive ever gotten a trophy). 
4. we bought all new bedroom furniture! for the first time, our bedroom is cute and functional and filled with stuff we like! and it only took a million trips to ikea and a medium amount of fighting!
5. we went on our first ever family trip! when my childhood best friend got married at a gorgeous but pretty out of the way park, we made it a weekend trip and it was pretty awesome. 
6. alice got tall enough to go on big rides at disneyland! also, her hitting 40 inches coincided perfectly with her turning four so she had a VERY special birthday this year. 
7. james worked at target during christmas time so all our christmas shopping was at least 15% off! honestly, im pretty bummed target doesnt pay enough for us to live off of, because i already miss that discount. 
8. my guts totally calmed down! remember how i used to have like a million food allergies? well now its down to literally only gluten! for a long time i couldnt tolerate too much corn or soy but guess who can have (moderate amounts of) regular soda and tofu? thats right, me. 
9. everybody totally killed it on christmas gifts this year! james got me a boxed set of harry potter books, i got him a bunch of clothes from american apparel, and we managed to get alice ALL of the things she asked for this year. 
10. james and i both embraced minimal living and we got rid of tons of stuff! ive lost count of how many loads weve taken to the thrift store, and theres no signs of them slowing down any time soon. 
11. i got As in all three classes i took this year! which means my GPA since coming back is a solid 4.0! (well see if i can pull my cumulative GPA high enough to graduate with honors though...). 
12. we had some pretty big milestones in the family. my youngest sister turned 13, my brother turned 18 AND graduated high school, and my other sister turned 21. there were a LOT of great parties in 2015. 
13. we saw my favorite band play my favorite record! and i only cried a little. and maybe that was mainly because i was pregnant...
14. james and i celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary! we didnt have the money to do anything crazy so we just went out to dinner, but still, thats a lot of anniversaries. 
15. james leveled up to a level six apprentice! which means he only has two more levels before he journeys out and we never have to deal with this apprenticeship process ever again!
so while 2015 DEFINITELY had WAY more than its fair share of bad times, it had its good times too. and we cant forget about those good times. 
now, what about those goals i set at the beginning of the year? well, in retrospect "focus" was a GREAT choice in a word for the year, but pairing it with 43098574983 little goals was NOT a great decision. i figured out midway through the year that i had spread myself too thin and it just wasnt realistic to do ALL of those things anyway. but, in the spirit of finishing what i started (something ive never been good at but would like to master), heres the final tally: 
i did: solidify my blogs brand and content, blog consistently (for the 2/3 of the year i was blogging), schedule my posts in advance, collaborate with other bloggers, vend at 3 craft fairs, experiment with new designs, have more family time, purge and simplify our home, buy a new bed/mattress, replace the hi-fi in the living room, improve my credit score, get straight As in school, and experiment more in the kitchen. 
i did not: apply for any of the patchwork shows, turn my fabric stash into inventory, go one one "real date" per month, start consistently homeschooling, stick to a reasonable budget, get 1/2 way to our goal emergency fund, or maintain a part time income with jamberry. 
so, looking at the big picture (not one of my strengths but im working on it) i did a LOT more than i didnt do, and we did have an unreasonable hard year. and i learned a lot about goal setting, so thats what really matters i guess. 
now, on to 2016! stay tuned for monday when i talk about my word for 2016 and what i have planned for us as we start the new year! 

goodbye 2015 + a life update

(note: this photo has absolutely nothing to do with todays blog post, i just want to draw attention to how much benedict loves cats)
in case you are brand new here (or forgot this blog existed), id like to get something out of the way real quick: yes, i am completely aware that i posted a super long, exciting post about rebranding and then went AWOL for four months. no, the irony is not lost on me. 
to be completely honest, ive been trying to mentally write this post (and have had several different versions in my drafts) for a few weeks now, and i just couldnt figure out how so i just... didnt do it (yes, this is how i typically deal with things. yes i know its terrible). but today is the last day of 2015, and probably the most appropriate time to just come out and say it: 
2015 has not ended well for us. 
in the interest of catching everyone up to speed with whats been going on without descending into a bottomless pit of self-pity, heres a brief list of bad things that have happened lately in more or less chronological order: 
1. in early september we lost my stepdad to suicide. im not going to go into detail explaining how horrible this was/is for everyone involved because, well, this is something id rather deal with privately than publicly discuss, but yes, it was (is?) terrible. 
2. james didnt work at all for two whole months after that. this was entirely coincidental, and, while on the one hand it was helpful to be able to just stop everything and grieve as a family, we also need james to work so we can like, pay rent and stuff. 
3. my health got, like, way worse. right at the very convenient time of right after we were dropped from our health insurance. (dont worry, im not dying, im just in absurd amounts of pain for no reason. also, im probably too old for having babies).
4. jamess bike got stolen. you know, the thing that makes our whole "having one car" thing totally manageable? stolen at the also very convenient time of right when james started working again/got a second job at target. 
5. i had a really, REALLY rough semester. the first 2/3 was a lot of confusion and wasted class time and the last 1/3 was constant stress and insanity. and i was only in one class. 
6. james (briefly) worked two jobs while i was still in school and we were sharing my car and it drove everyone literally insane. also he had to work (at target) on thanksgiving/black friday, which was stupid. 
7. i spent months trying to figure out our health insurance situation, and when i couldnt get any answers i started the process with getting insurance from the state, only to find out at the very end that WE HAD INSURANCE THE WHOLE TIME (well, not the time when they sent us a letter saying "no more health insurance" and cancelled all my scheduled appointments, but all the other time. yes i just realized i described the worst m. night shyamalan movie ever). 
8. overall james had a terrible year at work (like, made about half of what he made last year), right when we decide that im going to go to school instead of having a job for the next two years. 
and
8. my car died. literally, completely died. TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. seriously. 
so yeah, that about catches us up to today. obviously, other stuff happened in there too and were all still alive and healthy (ok, the kids are sick with sniffles) with lots of friends and family around to help/make us feel better (also, christmas was great), so life isnt that bad. and i mean, things can only go up from here, right? 
good riddance 2015, and stay tuned for tomorrows post where i talk about stuff thats not totally depressing! 

life lately + our june goal progress.

its officially july now. we are over half way through this year. i am definitely having a baby this month. this is absolutely insane. 
im happy to say that besides the obvious and expected pregnancy junk (not being able to get us out of the house much, spending a lot of time at the doctors office, and totally botching fathers day), june has been a pretty pleasant month. it had its stressful times: the first half of the month james was either out of town working or working terribly late, which happened to be right in the middle of our apartment being all torn up and discombobulated as we finished some big home projects. but, as usual, things eventually smoothed out. 
while there isnt a whole lot of exciting things to report for june, it turned out to be a nice month, we got a lot done, had a lot of fun, and i think were all enjoying this little window of me not working/being in school and not having a newborn in the house yet. 
and what about those 2015 goals? heres where we are now: 
blog goals. 
all things here are going great! i made junes entire editorial calendar in advance, and didnt miss a single post! also, the rebrand is in full swing, and im really excited about everything that im working on (that im actually going to talk more about later because theres kind of a lot). 
shop goals. 
obviously, with the baby coming so soon, im kind of on a break here. but the blog rebrand is inspiring a bit of a shop rebrand also, and i have actually been working on the design portion of both the kids line and the womens tops. plus now that ive taken the time to get to know my new serger, im doing a LOT more sewing (which is awesome!). 
family goals. 
weve had to be a lot more careful in our planning, but (especially after james being gone so much) weve made taking alice out for family time a major priority, and its been really great. alice has also gotten REALLY curious about numbers and letters again, so im doing my best to get some kind of educational activity included in each day, even if its not formal "schooling". also, james and i did go on one last date (probably) before the baby comes. 
home goals. 
aside from hitting a bit of a snag with the crib that we ordered, our home goals for the year are basically done. we're done with the furniture, took another carload of stuff to goodwill, and have reached the point where were re-going through things and fine-tuning the organization of the apartment. 
financial goals. 
things here are kind of floppy-floppy. weve spent more time talking about our budget issues and figuring out what/where we can do better, so were making progress there, but since the busy season of work only JUST started, our savings account hasnt seen any growth (though, in retrospect, i should have made a more specific, incremental plan for the savings account). 
personal goals. 
im all registered for next semester (and im only taking one class, so i really hope getting good grades isnt an issue...) and doing surprisingly well with trying out new things in the kitchen (especially considering how pregnant/just wanting to eat frozen pizza i am these days). also, ive reached an official decision when it comes to jamberry: i wont be continuing my job as a consultant for much longer. obviously ill talk more about this decision (and the reasons behind it) later, and i will run one last party at catalog change (late august/early september), but for now i will say that while it wasnt an easy decision, it was one that needed to be made. 
so theres our goal progress for the month. did you make big goals for 2015? how are they going? 

thoughts on pregnancy, the second time around.

ive been meaning to write this post for a long time, but i kept pushing it back as i realized just how huge and complex of a thing pregnancy is, and how depending on the day, my feelings about it vary pretty wildly. especially when you take into consideration that theres my thoughts/feelings about pregnancy in general, my personal experiences, and this particular pregnancy. i really wasnt sure what i wanted to say or how i wanted to say it or if i really needed to say anything at all but with just a few short weeks (actually, only about a month!) left, and having not really talked about pregnancy at all over here, i figured it was about time to take a minute and share whats been going on in my mind about going through pregnancy for the second time: 

its the same. physically, this pregnancy has been very similar to my pregnancy with alice: i was so, so sick for the first four/four and a half months, had terrible insomnia for the middle part and now that were at the end, im exhausted, in lots of pain, and my weight gain is getting way out of control. honestly the only noticeable difference ive seen is that last time i got terrible skin and awesome hair, where this time i got awesome skin (like, clearer and smoother than its EVER been at any not-pregnant time of my life) and the worst hair. 

but its different. when i was pregnant with alice i was mainly alone: living in a small, unfamiliar town with no job, friends, family, or hobbies, and this time, i have a lot more going on, and its things that i actually like: school, blogging, jamberry, disneyland (plus, i already have a kid to take care of). while at times this has made things harder or more tiring, its also been so much easier mentally and emotionally to have other things besides pregnancy to occupy my mind/time. 

im trying harder. with alice, i really didnt try hard at all to be healthy, active, or prepared to be a parent, i kind of just assumed everything would take care of itself and id be fine. for the most part, it did, but at the same time it made recovery and adjusting to life with a baby much harder than it needed to be. this time ive put way more effort into improving myself, my lifestyle, and our home for the new baby. 

but im also not trying so hard. at least where it comes to shedding my personality and interests in favor of "mom" things. i havent changed how i look or dress or act or any of my life goals to try and be more "mom-ly" the way i did last time. on the one hand this is scary because i really do wonder if ill ever have more than one mom friend, but on the other, its pretty liberating to not be trying so hard to fit in with the other moms, because i know i never really will. 

im more confident. this time i know that i just prefer to be more private about things than is typically expected of pregnant women, and im much more comfortable standing up for myself about the things weve chosen to do differently than the norm (like not finding out the gender or sharing our name choices or moving to a bigger apartment) or giving an honest response to unsolicited advice/opinions, which i was never able to do when i was pregnant with alice. 

but im still terrified. i know alice is three and a half, very smart, very healthy, generally well behaved, and definitely 100% still alive, but that does not change one bit that i spend every second questioning my ability to care for a baby and raise it into a decent human adult without messing everything up. 

im more prepared. last time i didnt buy anything until the last minute and as a result really made a lot of poor registry/purchasing decisions. this time ive actually researched what kinds of things we want/need and even bought my maternity clothes, nursing bras, and stretch mark cream in advance so that i already had them when i needed them. 

just kidding im totally not prepared at all. have i ever mentioned that alice was c-sectioned out long before i went into anything remotely resembling labor? i have literally no experience with contractions, or labor or birth or any of the gross things that go along with that, just the worlds most boring c-section. so yeah, i have no idea whats going to happen here, and i have like, a month, tops, before i find out. 

so yeah, thats whats going on in my mind right now. what are you up to these days? 

what i learned in school this year.

schools been out for a couple weeks now, and i think i can finally say im done recovering from the craziness and ready to relax and embrace summer break (well, as much as i can given how pregnant i am right now). the end of this last semester marks the end of my first full year of college in well, a really long time. even though i wasnt going to school full time, i did put a huge dent in the required classes for my degree, and (if im counting correctly) im right about halfway (units-wise, time-wise is an entirely different story...) to being an actual fashion designer and having a college degree that might actually get taken seriously in real life. 

i actually didnt realize that im halfway done until i typed that just now. which makes this post a bit more significant, i suppose. 

even though i started classes last spring, those classes were only 8 weeks so this fall and spring were my first whole year in college. and what a year it was. i took five classes, which maybe doesnt sound like a whole lot but they were five completely different classes and all except for one were studio classes (which in the creative fields is the same thing as a lab class in the science fields: twice as many class hours for the same amount of units). i was gone a lot, it was REALLY hard, and it ended up costing us way more money than id anticipated. but overall i dont regret it, because obviously, i learned a ton. 

i learned the things that i was in class to learn: proper sewing techniques, how to use industrial sewing machines, how to draw different kinds of fashion illustrations, lots and lots about the textiles industry, and how to use illustrator and photoshop. 

but going back to school as an adult with a life is different than going to school as a full-time student, and honestly the majority of what i learned had very little to do with my actual classes. 

this year i learned a lot about time management/scheduling/not overbooking myself. i learned that yes i can manage a lot on my plate but no i cant do a great job at everything all at once. i learned that its actually not that hard to schedule a few hours a week to do not-mom things and i can get a lot done in those hours, but that three days a week is way too many days (for me, at least). i learned a lot about different facets of the fashion industry and what areas im interested/not interested in pursuing. i learned that i work really well with schedules and deadlines and i do not work well under vague and inconsistent leadership. i learned that i really do love what im doing here with poverty luxe and that my dreams are totally attainable. 

but most importantly, i learned that i do have skills and talents and that they are useful and productive. 

see, ive struggled for a long time with confidence, with feeling like im not really good at anything that matters. i mean, i majored in fine arts, i didnt get great grades and i didnt even finish my bachelors degree. nothing says "yeah im basically 100% completely useless" like being a mediocre art school dropout. except for maybe being a mediocre art school drop out thats too sick to have a "real job" and stays at home but isnt even good at stay at home mom stuff. yeah ive always been good at sewing/crafty stuff but thats really not that important and it doesnt really come in handy all that often and its definitely not a job and i mean, anyone can do crafts, right? 

wrong. there is an entire worldwide industry built on the one thing im kind of good at, and yes, drawing and sewing is totally a real job. actually, its a real job that makes WAY more money than any of the jobs that the bachelors degree i was working on would ever make. and no, not everyone is naturally good at sewing/crafty things, not even in the fashion field. 

so while this year was REALLY long, REALLY hard, and REALLY expensive, i made it out not only still alive (ill be honest i really had my doubts a few times), but also confident that yes, yes i am good at some real life things. and that was the most important thing i learned this year. 

life lately + our april goal progress.

april. oh april. i feel like april is always a tough month for us/me. the weather is wacky (its hot! its cold! its raining! its hot again!) so physically and emotionally im a total wreck, james typically starts working more, school is at its peak busy-ness, and.... right at the tail end we have jamess birthday. looking back, it seems like every april has been this kind of madness for us, but every april we still manage to make it out alive. 

this april was no exception. overall it was much mellower than march was: no weddings or showers or family trips, and work has been picking up slowly for james so weve still had a lot of free time at home (though obviously not a lot of extra money). it had its moments though: i did a really great craft fair, we finally got our new bed, and of course i proceeded to have a psychological breakdown because for whatever reason i just cant handle changing the furniture. 

but really the big event for this month was jamess birthday, which, thanks to being absurdly pregnant, i was not able to make an embarrassingly huge deal about like last year or the year before. and i have to admit this, as well as the fact that BOTH of the things james asked for (a new tattoo and a new padres hat in a size that apparently no store ever has) werent things i could buy and wrap up for him to open made me feel like a pretty crappy wife for not doing enough birthday-ing. but, as usual, things turned out just fine. 

i basically just ended up badgering james over and over about what HE wanted to do for his birthday. and i have to say, james was obnoxiously low maintenance with his birthday requests: he chose sleeping in. obviously i wasnt taking this as an answer so (after he slept in, of course) i told him to pick an outing or activity that HE wanted to do. it took him all day to decide on going out to dinner. it was a lovely lazy day. and like i said, everything turned out just fine. (also, he did get his tattoo and his hat is on its way). 

so how about our goals? it seems that april was really the month where we hit our stride in this department. as i was looking over them just now i was reallysurprised at how much progress we made in how many categories, because honestly a lot of the time it felt like we werent doing much. but apparently we were. so how are things going? 

blog:

if you havent noticed, im totally getting back into the whole regular posting groove, AND the majority of posts have been planned, written, AND scheduled in advance. ive also been working harder at finding new ways to connect with bloggers outside of my normal "circle", and thats been totally awesome. 

shop: 

as i mentioned earlier, i did another craft fair! so thats two so far for the year, AND doors have been opening for even MORE opportunities in the coming months. i really wasnt expecting this since i had been feeling so bleh about what i had going, but you know what i REALLY wasnt expecting? being able to buy a new serger with the money i earned from selling a bunch of our old crap from around the house! so yeah, craft fair type things are moving along, and some new designing will probably be happening soon too!

family: 

im really happy to say that weve gotten to a point where weekly family time is becoming a habit, and james and i finally got our date a couple weeks ago we were able to sneak away for a quick lunch before making the baby registry (hopefully the next date wont take so long to happen). ive still been struggling with homeschooling, but ive decided to spend some time focusing on more tactile activities (painting, play dough, cutting shapes with scissors, etc.) which alice is doing really well with. 

home:

living room credenza: check. new bed and mattress: check. thorough decluttering of the entire apartment: almost check. if there was any category of these goals that i thought was going to drag on all year round, it was this one. so imagine my surprise that this is the area wed breeze right through. 

financial: 

here were dont doing as well as i had hoped, coming up with a new budget plan hasnt been easy: even though weve mastered functioning when we have NO money at all, and i feel like we did pretty well at handling when james was making a lot of "extra" money, this middle area weve been in is surprisingly difficult to navigate. and while our savings account hasnt gone down (except for the money we spent on the bed that had long been earmarked specifically for that), work was still on the slow side for james so it hasnt gone up either. as much as i want to be really discouraged here, im doing my best to keep things optimistic, and even though our attempt at a "no-spend" month for march was a total flop, were still going to try it again in may, and hopefully that will help us out in BOTH the budget and the savings account departments. 

personal: 

this semester is almost over (only two more weeks!) and at this point im really confident that im acing both my classes (which would make three semesters in a row with a 4.0!), i also registered for next semester (im only taking one class because baby and because theres literally only one class for me to take next semester), so thats exciting. also those recipes ive been talking about (if you havent noticed) have been slowly making their way onto the blog, which has been super fun and really helped to keep me motivated in breaking out of our dinner-rut. and as for jamberry, well, ive been giving it a LOT of thought, and talked jamess ear off about it way too many times, and i think weve come to a conclusion as to whats best for our family. however, i dont want to do anything rash so as of right now, im wrapping up one last group of parties before taking a couple months of maternity leave before making a final decision. 

so long story short, april = surprisingly productive month for our goals. lets do this, may. 

our move towards minimalism (a surprising lifestyle change).

to say that we have a complicated relationship with our stuff would be an understatement. i mean, i know this is probably true for a lot of people, but for james and i, it seems to be especially bad. both of us came into this marriage with a lot of crap (both literally and figuratively), and due to the typically mostly really bad circumstances weve lived through since getting married, we never really learned how to properly deal with all of it. its not that we didnt know it was there, of that it was a problem, or that we totally needed to do something about it, it was just... overwhelming. we didnt know what to do, where to start, or even what kind of end product we were after, anyway. so we just kind of ignored it. for four freaking years. 

but then things started changing. really changing. things started getting better. not "magically swimming in money so we can move somewhere big enough to hide all this crap and continue to not deal with it" better, but "you know what the way were used to living is totally not what either of us wants and we can totally do things that will make it better so lets do that". so we started dealing with our crap. the process started slowly, first we cut way back on what we were buying until we were rarely ever bringing anything new into the house. then about a year ago, my mom had a yard sale and we quickly ransacked our apartment for things that were just taking up space. we ditched two car loads of stuff that weekend. two. car. loads. from a one bedroom apartment. 

and thats where things really started to get moving. we stopped looking only at what we were buying, but also at what we already had, more critically, more practically. we started small, a drawer here, a box there, throwing out obvious trash and giving things away as the opportunity arose. i spent a good chunk of the year picking my closet over (and over, and over) to try and sort out my actual personal style and reduce my wardobe down to only the things i actually like to wear. we started to get pretty dang good at this decluttering thing. 

then recently, things really got kicked into high gear. partly because of the new baby, but also because we were hit hard with a hard truth: we didnt actually need more space. our apartment is plenty big enough for the four of us, we just needed to not have every nook and cranny stacked to the ceiling with stuff. and we noticed something else: the more we got rid of, the more we saw how little of what we own is stuff that we actually use, that we actually like. and there began our quest not just for a tidy, organized home (which, to be honest, was our original intention), but for a minimal one. the questions shifted from "do we want/need this?" to "could we live without this?". more often than not, the answer to that second question is yes. so away those things go. 

and its absolutely wonderful. something as simple as getting rid of all this old crap that we didnt even realize was weighing us down has renewed and inspired us to get moving on some other things that weve been ignoring all this time: projects, goals, even dreams for the future that we were just too distracted to get around to. really i can not stop talking about how much ive loved this move towards a more minimal lifestyle. 

it hasn't been easy though, and to be completely honest, i never expected this change for me. ive always been a cluttered, disorganized, sentimental person buried in things. james too. but what i didnt realize is that these things were actually weighing us down and holding us back. without them, well... watch out. big things are happening over here. 

so whats up next? obviously, a continued series on de-cluttering/minimalism, because ive really learned a lot through this process that i just cant wait to share with you guys. but more surprisingly (for me, at least, cause i never thought id be that kind of blogger), a bedroom makeover series. yeah, miss i-dont-decorate-cant-make-domestic-decisions is doing a room makeover. 

so be sure to stay tuned for next time because the "before" is coming right up! 

life lately. (and our march goal progress).

a long, long time ago (its honestly hard to believe ive been blogging long enough to say that) i used to do a "month in review" post at the end of the month with photos and tidbits about the past month and lately ive started to miss that. especially as life has gotten crazier and things are shifting with the blog and im not really writing much about our general family activities anymore. march really made me miss this old feature. march was one of those months that really flew by.

among the highlights were our first real family trip, probably the best wedding ive ever been to, beach days, bridal showers, baby showers, family dinners and days at disneyland. in a lot of ways i was a little too busy enjoying life to get to the computer to work on serious blog posts. especially since, you know, i have school and james has work and we still have all our other normal adult things to do. 

but theres also been a lot going on behind the scenes, stuff that i want to write about, stuff that i probably should be writing about, but stuff that i cant ever really get myself around to actually writing about. 

like this pregnancy. pregnancy has not been kind to me. i mean, im not all that alarmed/surprised about how things are going, because ive done this before. i know that im just not one of those women that gets to go about her normal life while pregnant, and i really dont enjoy this process all that much (like seriously, can the stork be real please?). i was really sick for a good four months, i am really tired basically all the time, and (very much unlike last time) i have had to deal with horrendous back pain on top of my usual fibromyalgia related issues, and really this whole time ive barely been able to function as a human. and thats not even getting into the emotional effects of constantly feeling ugly and gross as i slowly transform into a huge, greasy, sweaty, useless bipedal land whale that is vastly inferior to seemingly every other pregnant woman that gets to just go on doing 20x the things i do in a day and still have nice hair. 

i dont want this to come off as being unnecessarily negative because even though yeah, pregnancy totally sucks (which i really feel like women are not allowed to say/talk about but thats a rant for an entirely different day) were all very excited about the new baby (which, for the record, we do not know the gender of) and the assorted preparations that we get to work on. im just, equally as excited at the prospect of finally not being pregnant anymore (and wouldnt be at all opposed to baby coming a bit early the way ive heard second babies have a tendency of doing). 

and as if a new baby wasnt a big enough change to go through right now, james and i have also decided to embrace/move towards a more minimalist lifestyle. actually thats kind of a lie, were getting close to embracing full-blown minimalism around here. see, in a lot of ways weve really been weighed down by the sheer amount of crap in our lives, and over the past year or so have been slowly making changes in our habits (buying only what we absolutely need, getting rid of things we dont use, etc.) and values (people and experiences over things, quality over quantity, efficiency over excess). this has been a slow and gradual process, though recently, weve just been on a mission to get rid of all the things. and it feels SO good. 

we literally own less right now than we have ever owned in our marriage and the more things we get rid of, the more things we see that we can totally get rid of. its like a vicious cycle thats also COMPLETELY FREAKING FANTASTIC. there are surfaces in this apartment that im not sure ive ever seen empty, and the place feels HUGE compared to when we moved in. and no, we are nowhere near being finished. did i mention we havent even gotten the new, smaller, more efficient bedroom furniture yet? for a long time we worried about where wed put another baby, but now its starting to look like baby #2 will get its own WHOLE CORNER in our room. maybe even with an actual (mini) crib. the only downside to this whole process is its kind of a mess: one area gets torn up, we make a big pile of stuff we dont want, put the stuff we do want away and then have to deal with the pile before moving on to the next area, lather, rinse, repeat. this constant state of flux is not great for my anxiety (though, removing the clutter is actually totally great for my anxiety!). 

putting all our physical possessions into their place has also had me trying to figure out how to put all my different interests/efforts into their place. the past couple years has been awesome as far as finding things that im good at/make me happy/put us on a path to me actually providing a second income from home, BUT i cant give 100% to all of them. school, blog, shop, jamberry, theyre all great. i love all of them and they all have their different strengths and benefits, but its really getting to be too much trying to juggle all of them. realistically, even though its the slowest going, finishing/doing well in school is really necessary so that i can build the skills that ill need wherever i end up in my creative pursuits, and investing time and effort into a strong blog/web presence probably wisest since that will give me a foundation for launching any kind of actual business. and honestly, im running out of steam and inspiration when it comes to the shop and jamberry, but i also really dont want to just flat out quit either of them (especially when its jamberry that has the most/easiest earning potential). so what do i do now? i dont know yet. 

so thats whats been going on around here lately, and since its a fresh new month, why dont we quickly check in on our goal progress this month: 

blog: 

with a solid foundation for my content/branding coming together, its getting a lot easier (in theory) to plan posts and write consistently (of course, in practice real life keeps getting in the way), and lately ive been working on less conventional ways to connect with my readers/other bloggers that i think are more effective than the traditional sponsorship/link up route. 

shop: 

we traded patchwork for the silver lake market, and while it wasnt a financial success, we did it, and tomorrow ill be doing my second craft fair of the year (the community bazaar in anaheim), so the craft fair related goals are coming along nicely, even if more design-oriented things are more or less on hold. 

family: 

this month we have gotten WAY better at having intentional family time every week, and while james and i didnt get a date date (march had some kind of big thing every single weekend) we did do the silver lake flea market together without alice. homeschooling though, i need to work harder at finding better (age appropriate) activities. 

home: 

you probably read about our most recent trip to ikea, and how we totally got the credenza situation taken care of before the bed/mattress. but we also DID pick a bed and mattress and are making GREAT progress with decluttering so our home goals are sailing along nicely. 

financial: 

march was still slow work-wise for james but we are working on figuring out a reasonable budget plan, our savings account is inching along, and weve made a couple big payments to the credit card, so i cant complain here. 

personal: 

school is going amazingly well, i actually got the only perfect score on my illustration midterm, and im learning a lot (which is whats most important), and im really finding a lot more confidence in the kitchen. jamberry though, i dont know if im being lazy or if maybe thats run its course, but i suppose i should give it some more time. 

so whats going on in your life lately?