what i learned in school this year.

schools been out for a couple weeks now, and i think i can finally say im done recovering from the craziness and ready to relax and embrace summer break (well, as much as i can given how pregnant i am right now). the end of this last semester marks the end of my first full year of college in well, a really long time. even though i wasnt going to school full time, i did put a huge dent in the required classes for my degree, and (if im counting correctly) im right about halfway (units-wise, time-wise is an entirely different story...) to being an actual fashion designer and having a college degree that might actually get taken seriously in real life. 

i actually didnt realize that im halfway done until i typed that just now. which makes this post a bit more significant, i suppose. 

even though i started classes last spring, those classes were only 8 weeks so this fall and spring were my first whole year in college. and what a year it was. i took five classes, which maybe doesnt sound like a whole lot but they were five completely different classes and all except for one were studio classes (which in the creative fields is the same thing as a lab class in the science fields: twice as many class hours for the same amount of units). i was gone a lot, it was REALLY hard, and it ended up costing us way more money than id anticipated. but overall i dont regret it, because obviously, i learned a ton. 

i learned the things that i was in class to learn: proper sewing techniques, how to use industrial sewing machines, how to draw different kinds of fashion illustrations, lots and lots about the textiles industry, and how to use illustrator and photoshop. 

but going back to school as an adult with a life is different than going to school as a full-time student, and honestly the majority of what i learned had very little to do with my actual classes. 

this year i learned a lot about time management/scheduling/not overbooking myself. i learned that yes i can manage a lot on my plate but no i cant do a great job at everything all at once. i learned that its actually not that hard to schedule a few hours a week to do not-mom things and i can get a lot done in those hours, but that three days a week is way too many days (for me, at least). i learned a lot about different facets of the fashion industry and what areas im interested/not interested in pursuing. i learned that i work really well with schedules and deadlines and i do not work well under vague and inconsistent leadership. i learned that i really do love what im doing here with poverty luxe and that my dreams are totally attainable. 

but most importantly, i learned that i do have skills and talents and that they are useful and productive. 

see, ive struggled for a long time with confidence, with feeling like im not really good at anything that matters. i mean, i majored in fine arts, i didnt get great grades and i didnt even finish my bachelors degree. nothing says "yeah im basically 100% completely useless" like being a mediocre art school dropout. except for maybe being a mediocre art school drop out thats too sick to have a "real job" and stays at home but isnt even good at stay at home mom stuff. yeah ive always been good at sewing/crafty stuff but thats really not that important and it doesnt really come in handy all that often and its definitely not a job and i mean, anyone can do crafts, right? 

wrong. there is an entire worldwide industry built on the one thing im kind of good at, and yes, drawing and sewing is totally a real job. actually, its a real job that makes WAY more money than any of the jobs that the bachelors degree i was working on would ever make. and no, not everyone is naturally good at sewing/crafty things, not even in the fashion field. 

so while this year was REALLY long, REALLY hard, and REALLY expensive, i made it out not only still alive (ill be honest i really had my doubts a few times), but also confident that yes, yes i am good at some real life things. and that was the most important thing i learned this year.