my word for 2016: fresh.

ok first things first: i was really, really apprehensive about coming back here after such a long absence. i was convinced that even if i COULD find the time and energy to come back (and get through the especially difficult post to explain why ive been gone so long) that nobody would remember me and that id just be blogging into a vacuum until i re-built my entire audience from scratch. now i would like to take a minute and say a big fat THANK YOU to everyone thats read, commented, emailed, etc., it was SO nice to come back and instantly know that people are still reading here. 

but i digress.  

last year was the first year that i had done the whole "choose a word to center your goals around" thing, and i have to say, i really liked it. even though my word ("focus") was a little vague and turned out to not mesh well with the goals i made and the year really, really didnt turn out the way id hoped, setting a theme for my goals was a great way to get myself excited about actually doing the things i said i was going to do. 

so, obviously, im going to do it again this year. 

honestly i actually had a different word (and goals) picked out (and i was really excited about them) up until, oh.... about a week ago. but then some things happened (mainly car stupidness), and well... i needed to make some adjustments. and by adjustments i mean we needed to start ALL over and find something else more appropriate. 

and as i was sorting through all my blog papers half-heartedly trying to salvage my old editorial calendars and scouring craigslist for a similar replacement to my station wagon while not only dealing with all the bad things that happened over the last year but also the repercussions of how i just suck at life when im pregnant/have a newborn, my word for 2016 came to me: 

fresh. 

2016 is a year for fresh starts: for letting go of whats not working for us and focusing only on what is, for making our life better instead of just treading water. 2016 is a year for a fresh, positive outlook, for dropping bad habits and replacing them with good ones. 2016 is a year for really making a life we enjoy rather than just checking off a bunch of lists. 

so what does this mean? 

well first and foremost im not going to make a long, itemized list of goals to feel guilty about not accomplishing. but this is what weve been working on so far: 

ive officially quit jamberry and selling handmade clothes. yes, those things did technically make money but not very much, and definitely not enough to make up for the time they took away from my family AND being able to work towards what i really want to do for money. 

ive decided what i actually want to do for a career. im not going to juggle a whole bunch of tiny little jobs that im really not into anymore. i want to be a pattern maker. obviously i cant just go be a pattern maker right now, but my priority right now is to work as much on my education as possible so that when the time comes, i can be an awesome pattern maker. 

were getting back on all kinds of wagons. remember how i said i super suck at life when im pregnant? well... over the last year i completely lost my grip on a lot of my household responsibilities. mainly the REALLY important things like budgeting, meal planning, and cleaning the house. so our first order of business is to get back on track with our former thrifty, healthy, tidy lifestyle. 

im going to be like, a legit blogger. and by that i mean, i threw out all my old editorial calendars, cracked open a brand-new note book and started planning a whole YEAR of new content that im actually excited about, rather than just what i felt like i "should" be doing. 

whether we like it or not, were buying a new car. ok maybe not a new, new car, but this time were going to REALLY research and carefully shop for a reliable long-term family car so that we dont end up in this exact situation not even three years from now (can you tell this has happened to us before...)

but most importantly:

im not making a lengthy list of arbitrary goals to feel bad about all of the time that im not accomplishing goals. because if theres one thing ive learned from setting new-year goals, its that (for me) they really get in the way of (me) enjoying life as it happens and celebrating the things we DO accomplish without comparing them to the things we didnt. (not knocking new-year goals in general, this is just how things have gone for me). 

so yeah, thats where things seem to be headed for this fresh new year. 

what do you have planned this year? do you pick a "word" for the year? if so, whats yours? let me know in the comments, i love hearing what other people pick!

the 15 best things to happen in 2015 (and what happened to those 2015 goals).

good morning 2016! and happy new year everyone! hope you didnt party too hard last night (not to brag, but we just had our SIXTH consecutive new years eve of going to bed early because at least half of the family was sick). 
after yesterdays totally downer post, and before i jump into the legitimately awesome stuff i want to do i wanted to take a minute to reflect on all the great things that happened over the last year, as well as catch up the goals i made at the beginning of 2015, so that we can start moving forward from a nice clean slate. and, what better day to do it than new years day? none, obviously. 
moving on to our first order of business, lets get to the 15 best things to happen in 2015: 
1. we had a baby! not only does this mean im not pregnant anymore, but we also got a really cool baby! and i got to give him a totally ridiculous name without anyone noticing how ridiculous it is (except, like, my mom. she knew EXACTLY how ridiculous it is).
2. i got to collaborate on a rap song! no, im not kidding. my favorite rapper mc lars asked twitter about hipster mom stuff and when i (obviously) had the best answers we emailed a bit and he actually used a lot of my suggestions in his song hipster mom. 
3. i got a trophy in pattern making class! pattern making class was NOT easy (for a variety of reasons) but my teacher pushed us all REALLY hard to do the best we could and when i made the largest collection of the class (11 pieces!) she totally recognized my effort. (sidenote, i never did sports so this is probably the literal first time ive ever gotten a trophy). 
4. we bought all new bedroom furniture! for the first time, our bedroom is cute and functional and filled with stuff we like! and it only took a million trips to ikea and a medium amount of fighting!
5. we went on our first ever family trip! when my childhood best friend got married at a gorgeous but pretty out of the way park, we made it a weekend trip and it was pretty awesome. 
6. alice got tall enough to go on big rides at disneyland! also, her hitting 40 inches coincided perfectly with her turning four so she had a VERY special birthday this year. 
7. james worked at target during christmas time so all our christmas shopping was at least 15% off! honestly, im pretty bummed target doesnt pay enough for us to live off of, because i already miss that discount. 
8. my guts totally calmed down! remember how i used to have like a million food allergies? well now its down to literally only gluten! for a long time i couldnt tolerate too much corn or soy but guess who can have (moderate amounts of) regular soda and tofu? thats right, me. 
9. everybody totally killed it on christmas gifts this year! james got me a boxed set of harry potter books, i got him a bunch of clothes from american apparel, and we managed to get alice ALL of the things she asked for this year. 
10. james and i both embraced minimal living and we got rid of tons of stuff! ive lost count of how many loads weve taken to the thrift store, and theres no signs of them slowing down any time soon. 
11. i got As in all three classes i took this year! which means my GPA since coming back is a solid 4.0! (well see if i can pull my cumulative GPA high enough to graduate with honors though...). 
12. we had some pretty big milestones in the family. my youngest sister turned 13, my brother turned 18 AND graduated high school, and my other sister turned 21. there were a LOT of great parties in 2015. 
13. we saw my favorite band play my favorite record! and i only cried a little. and maybe that was mainly because i was pregnant...
14. james and i celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary! we didnt have the money to do anything crazy so we just went out to dinner, but still, thats a lot of anniversaries. 
15. james leveled up to a level six apprentice! which means he only has two more levels before he journeys out and we never have to deal with this apprenticeship process ever again!
so while 2015 DEFINITELY had WAY more than its fair share of bad times, it had its good times too. and we cant forget about those good times. 
now, what about those goals i set at the beginning of the year? well, in retrospect "focus" was a GREAT choice in a word for the year, but pairing it with 43098574983 little goals was NOT a great decision. i figured out midway through the year that i had spread myself too thin and it just wasnt realistic to do ALL of those things anyway. but, in the spirit of finishing what i started (something ive never been good at but would like to master), heres the final tally: 
i did: solidify my blogs brand and content, blog consistently (for the 2/3 of the year i was blogging), schedule my posts in advance, collaborate with other bloggers, vend at 3 craft fairs, experiment with new designs, have more family time, purge and simplify our home, buy a new bed/mattress, replace the hi-fi in the living room, improve my credit score, get straight As in school, and experiment more in the kitchen. 
i did not: apply for any of the patchwork shows, turn my fabric stash into inventory, go one one "real date" per month, start consistently homeschooling, stick to a reasonable budget, get 1/2 way to our goal emergency fund, or maintain a part time income with jamberry. 
so, looking at the big picture (not one of my strengths but im working on it) i did a LOT more than i didnt do, and we did have an unreasonable hard year. and i learned a lot about goal setting, so thats what really matters i guess. 
now, on to 2016! stay tuned for monday when i talk about my word for 2016 and what i have planned for us as we start the new year! 

life lately + our july goal progress.

hello august! i was starting to think july was never going to end, it just seemed that long. 
heres how the month went for us: we had a baby (on the 4th), and while dealing with my recovery/adjusting to life with a newborn in the house, james has been working a ton (including several nights out of town). its been crazy, its been exhausting, but looking back im having a much easier time of this than i did when i had alice. mainly because (in comparison to a c section) my recovery has been soooooo much easier, and this time i have help. lots of help. like, my mom takes alice for a sleepover/beach day every week help (thanks mom!). i dont remember exactly how long it took me to feel "normal" last time but i do remember that i wasnt going to stores and keeping the house clean three weeks after giving birth, and i definitely wouldnt have been able to do a craft fair at exactly a month postpartum (which we did). honestly at this point im getting really antsy for school to start because id really like to go outside by myself, which i was not expecting at all. 
thats not to say that transitioning into life with two small humans in the house hasnt had its challenges: alice loves benedict, but she loves him a little too much. i am always telling her to stop touching him and fussing over him and trying to pick him up and for crying out loud he is almost as big as you alice do not pick him up. alice is also going through a conveniently timed phase of both being incredibly sassy and ignoring everything i say unless i am literally yelling, which is alternately hilarious and very, very frustrating. some days she is a very good helper, some days involve a lot of yelling and crying (from both of us) and some days shes at grandmas house. benedict is great though and already has a kind of predictable eating/sleeping schedule and LOVES to be out and about so i really cant complain because he is an A+ second child (except from about 5-10 pm when he is the crankiest baby thats ever lived). 
obviously since we had a baby this month weve mainly been living in survival mode and working on our goals hasnt been a priority (which, i am totally ok with). so instead of giving the run down on our progress in each category (since most are at the same point that they were last month), im just going to share a few observations ive had on making big, year-long goals: 
my "word of the year" choice was very ironic. at the end of last year when i was making these goals, our life was crazy all over the place and no one thing was going anywhere productive so chose the word "focus" to guide our goals for the next year. i nailed down some specific things to work on with in various areas of our life and intended to spend the year focusing on just those things. at the time the list seemed very focused in comparison to the chaos we had gotten used to, however, as time went on, it became clear that that list had way too many things. which brings us to...
we cant do everything all at once. even though (in theory) each individual goal we set was reasonable and specific and attainable and all those things that goals should be, trying to work on all of them, all the time, was just, not productive. we cant actually make major home improvements and build our savings account simultaneously, and trying to establish regular family time/date nights while trying to put 100% into school, blogging, the shop, jamberry, AND schooling alice is just ridiculous when you put it in a sentence like that instead of a nice bulleted list. 
priorities change. the funny thing about making goals for the whole year is that you really have no idea in january whats going to happen and whats going to be important in august. in our case, the goals that seemed focused when we made them were really kind of all over the place so...
some things just have to go. like jamberry (the time i was spending on it wasnt benefitting us as a family and was taking away from the time i had to build my dream job), formally schooling alice (she is only three and seems to be benefitting most from reading together, right now were going through the chronicles of narnia), and working on our emergency fund (i now realize its much, much more important that we get a solid budget in place first). 
and some things have to change. certain areas, like our home goals, progressed faster than wed expected and now we have to re-evaluate what were going to do next (we purged and bought all the furniture we had planned for, so what's next? more purging? more furniture? a break?), and others, like the blog and shop, took a different direction as the year went on than what i had originally intended (hence, full-on rebrand and doing more, smaller craft fairs). one of the biggest lessons ive learned so far this year is that long term goals need to be flexible. 
we cant neglect short-term goals. i have a bad habit of putting too much focus on the to-do lists and short term goals, and i thought that making only big, long-term goals would help with that, but what ended up happening was that i made the big-picture goals and kind of just ignored the small day-to-day things. so, i really need to work on finding the right balance of long, AND short-term goal setting. 
all things considered, weve done surprisingly well. i mean, weve completely finished all the home goals we set, started making actual progress in moving my business to where we ultimately want it, and if anything, weve become a lot more focused in our goal setting than we were at the beginning of the year. 
speaking of which, im basically taking this entire month off blogging to focus on our new baby and the awesome new content coming in the fall, and id like some input: 
what kind of posts are your favorite? what do you want to see more of? and are there any questions youd like me to answer?

9 reasons why i am the worst pregnant lady ever.

ive been called a lot of bad things in my lifetime (as im sure most people have), but none of them has ever been truer than when my sister declared me the "worst. pregnant lady. ever." and well, this is a title that i just cant argue with. not even one little bit. because you know what? i do totally suck at this whole pregnancy thing. why exactly? well...

1. i dont do belly pictures. some women feel really confident and attractive during pregnancy. i am not one of those women. i feel like a fat, bloated, greasy whale with about three outfits that fit and i do not want to remember (or be remembered for) looking the way i look now. honestly, im pretty dang shocked at how many pictures of me exist from this pregnancy considering there are exactly three remaining from when i was pregnant with alice. 

2. i dont do "bumpdates". yeah, i know im technically a mom blogger. and im pregnant. but i havent been posting my cravings and symptoms or the status of my belly button or a running tab of my weight gain because frankly, thats nobodys business. also, spoiler alert from a somewhat experienced pregnancy haver: very little changes from week to week and basically all pregnancies are the same. 

3. no gender. were not finding out the gender of this baby. we didnt do it with alice and we wont do it with any future kids we may or may not have. why? because i think its super fun and i like having a big surprise to look forward to at the end of all this. also, there was a somewhat traumatic incident when i was seven where my mom was told for certain that she was having a girl and we were very excited and prepared for a new baby sister named sarah but she turned out to be my brother andrew. i would rather not repeat this scenario. 

4. no names. obviously since we dont know the gender, we havent named this baby in advance. we do have a boy name and girl name picked that we think are pretty solid, but were not telling what they are. partially because of the possibility of situations like the above example of my brother (or the lady i knew once who had baby shower invites printed with the babys name, and then changed her mind before the shower even happened), and partially because once you start letting name ideas out, everyone has something negative to say about the name you picked and tries to get you to use THEIR name idea that you hate. im just not even going to play that game this time. 

5. im really not that into baby stuff. i think ive mentioned my baby registry before, right? in case i havent, its basically just diapers and grey pajamas and a few higher-end appliances that would be nice to have but i really dont care that much about getting. why? because we already have WAY more baby stuff than we need. honestly, i just cleaned out the newborn stuff we were storing at my moms and am considering taking the pajamas off the registry because actually were totally set on clothes. and as for buying things/making the nursery/getting ready for baby? im 36 weeks now and we JUST started...

6. actually i dont even like babies that much. look, i LOVE being a mom, its what ive always wanted to do and generally speaking its pretty awesome. that being said, i honestly dont get whats so great about new babies. i mean, theyre small, which is cute, but they dont do much for a really, really long time. toddlers, on the other hand? toddlers are super fun. im REALLY excited about having another toddler in the house in about a year. (not sarcasm)

7. all this attention makes me really uncomfortable. if it were up to me, we wouldnt have even announced this pregnancy until i started showing up places with an already born baby. why? because the second people know youre pregnant they start getting way up in your business and i am not ok with this at all. im getting a TON of REALLY rude, invasive, and totally inappropriate questions and comments from everyone everywhere i go (dont even get me STARTED on the things people have been asking me at church every week). thankfully i look like a mean, scary person so i havent had to deal with much unwanted belly touching (still not an ok thing to do EVER, just FYI). 

8. i really, really do not enjoy being pregnant. pregnancy tends to get represented as this joyous, exciting, rainbows and unicorns good time where women glow and feel fantastic, and while sure, that stuff is in there sometimes, the majority of it is really weird, gross, and uncomfortable. some of us do not glow. some of us spend approximately 40 weeks sick, tired, and in a lot of pain. i am totally 100% one of those people and im not going to pretend i feel great or am enjoying this process. unfortunately, this is very much the wrong answer to everyone who asks how im feeling and then tries to convince me that i should LOVE being pregnant...

9. honestly, id rather talk about anything else. a new baby is always a big exciting thing and obviously theres lots to talk about: how the pregnancy is going, the fun projects im working on, what were going to do when the babys here, which honestly i dont mind at all. but since im pregnant, all anyone wants to talk about ever is pregnancy and babies (mine or their own or someone they know or stuff they read or whatever). i have literally no idea whats going on in the lives of most people i know (also, i now know WAY too much that i dont want to know about people i barely know), because 99% of conversations i get involved in are about babies and the remaining conversations that i initiate about other topics turn into conversations about babies... i would just really like to talk about something else, ok? 

am i excited about growing our little family? absolutely. do i realize that this whole post made me sound like a huge jerk? of course. its just, im not all that into pregnancy, and im a much, much bigger fan of the baby-living-outside-of-my-body part of this whole having kids thing. 

thoughts on pregnancy, the second time around.

ive been meaning to write this post for a long time, but i kept pushing it back as i realized just how huge and complex of a thing pregnancy is, and how depending on the day, my feelings about it vary pretty wildly. especially when you take into consideration that theres my thoughts/feelings about pregnancy in general, my personal experiences, and this particular pregnancy. i really wasnt sure what i wanted to say or how i wanted to say it or if i really needed to say anything at all but with just a few short weeks (actually, only about a month!) left, and having not really talked about pregnancy at all over here, i figured it was about time to take a minute and share whats been going on in my mind about going through pregnancy for the second time: 

its the same. physically, this pregnancy has been very similar to my pregnancy with alice: i was so, so sick for the first four/four and a half months, had terrible insomnia for the middle part and now that were at the end, im exhausted, in lots of pain, and my weight gain is getting way out of control. honestly the only noticeable difference ive seen is that last time i got terrible skin and awesome hair, where this time i got awesome skin (like, clearer and smoother than its EVER been at any not-pregnant time of my life) and the worst hair. 

but its different. when i was pregnant with alice i was mainly alone: living in a small, unfamiliar town with no job, friends, family, or hobbies, and this time, i have a lot more going on, and its things that i actually like: school, blogging, jamberry, disneyland (plus, i already have a kid to take care of). while at times this has made things harder or more tiring, its also been so much easier mentally and emotionally to have other things besides pregnancy to occupy my mind/time. 

im trying harder. with alice, i really didnt try hard at all to be healthy, active, or prepared to be a parent, i kind of just assumed everything would take care of itself and id be fine. for the most part, it did, but at the same time it made recovery and adjusting to life with a baby much harder than it needed to be. this time ive put way more effort into improving myself, my lifestyle, and our home for the new baby. 

but im also not trying so hard. at least where it comes to shedding my personality and interests in favor of "mom" things. i havent changed how i look or dress or act or any of my life goals to try and be more "mom-ly" the way i did last time. on the one hand this is scary because i really do wonder if ill ever have more than one mom friend, but on the other, its pretty liberating to not be trying so hard to fit in with the other moms, because i know i never really will. 

im more confident. this time i know that i just prefer to be more private about things than is typically expected of pregnant women, and im much more comfortable standing up for myself about the things weve chosen to do differently than the norm (like not finding out the gender or sharing our name choices or moving to a bigger apartment) or giving an honest response to unsolicited advice/opinions, which i was never able to do when i was pregnant with alice. 

but im still terrified. i know alice is three and a half, very smart, very healthy, generally well behaved, and definitely 100% still alive, but that does not change one bit that i spend every second questioning my ability to care for a baby and raise it into a decent human adult without messing everything up. 

im more prepared. last time i didnt buy anything until the last minute and as a result really made a lot of poor registry/purchasing decisions. this time ive actually researched what kinds of things we want/need and even bought my maternity clothes, nursing bras, and stretch mark cream in advance so that i already had them when i needed them. 

just kidding im totally not prepared at all. have i ever mentioned that alice was c-sectioned out long before i went into anything remotely resembling labor? i have literally no experience with contractions, or labor or birth or any of the gross things that go along with that, just the worlds most boring c-section. so yeah, i have no idea whats going to happen here, and i have like, a month, tops, before i find out. 

so yeah, thats whats going on in my mind right now. what are you up to these days? 

what i learned in school this year.

schools been out for a couple weeks now, and i think i can finally say im done recovering from the craziness and ready to relax and embrace summer break (well, as much as i can given how pregnant i am right now). the end of this last semester marks the end of my first full year of college in well, a really long time. even though i wasnt going to school full time, i did put a huge dent in the required classes for my degree, and (if im counting correctly) im right about halfway (units-wise, time-wise is an entirely different story...) to being an actual fashion designer and having a college degree that might actually get taken seriously in real life. 

i actually didnt realize that im halfway done until i typed that just now. which makes this post a bit more significant, i suppose. 

even though i started classes last spring, those classes were only 8 weeks so this fall and spring were my first whole year in college. and what a year it was. i took five classes, which maybe doesnt sound like a whole lot but they were five completely different classes and all except for one were studio classes (which in the creative fields is the same thing as a lab class in the science fields: twice as many class hours for the same amount of units). i was gone a lot, it was REALLY hard, and it ended up costing us way more money than id anticipated. but overall i dont regret it, because obviously, i learned a ton. 

i learned the things that i was in class to learn: proper sewing techniques, how to use industrial sewing machines, how to draw different kinds of fashion illustrations, lots and lots about the textiles industry, and how to use illustrator and photoshop. 

but going back to school as an adult with a life is different than going to school as a full-time student, and honestly the majority of what i learned had very little to do with my actual classes. 

this year i learned a lot about time management/scheduling/not overbooking myself. i learned that yes i can manage a lot on my plate but no i cant do a great job at everything all at once. i learned that its actually not that hard to schedule a few hours a week to do not-mom things and i can get a lot done in those hours, but that three days a week is way too many days (for me, at least). i learned a lot about different facets of the fashion industry and what areas im interested/not interested in pursuing. i learned that i work really well with schedules and deadlines and i do not work well under vague and inconsistent leadership. i learned that i really do love what im doing here with poverty luxe and that my dreams are totally attainable. 

but most importantly, i learned that i do have skills and talents and that they are useful and productive. 

see, ive struggled for a long time with confidence, with feeling like im not really good at anything that matters. i mean, i majored in fine arts, i didnt get great grades and i didnt even finish my bachelors degree. nothing says "yeah im basically 100% completely useless" like being a mediocre art school dropout. except for maybe being a mediocre art school drop out thats too sick to have a "real job" and stays at home but isnt even good at stay at home mom stuff. yeah ive always been good at sewing/crafty stuff but thats really not that important and it doesnt really come in handy all that often and its definitely not a job and i mean, anyone can do crafts, right? 

wrong. there is an entire worldwide industry built on the one thing im kind of good at, and yes, drawing and sewing is totally a real job. actually, its a real job that makes WAY more money than any of the jobs that the bachelors degree i was working on would ever make. and no, not everyone is naturally good at sewing/crafty things, not even in the fashion field. 

so while this year was REALLY long, REALLY hard, and REALLY expensive, i made it out not only still alive (ill be honest i really had my doubts a few times), but also confident that yes, yes i am good at some real life things. and that was the most important thing i learned this year. 

8 reasons why i secretly love our tiny home.

we (and by "we" i mean myself, james, alice, and two cats) live in a one-bedroom apartment. a small one-bedroom apartment. in a mediocre building. in a lame part of town. to be completely honest, when we first moved here, i hoped and prayed that this apartment would only be temporary. heck, i was only willing to sign a six-month lease because i was sure that within a year, james would get a real job and wed be able to move somewhere decent. 

never mind that we had just come back to california with a new baby, no jobs, no savings, a car that was literally falling apart, no place to live and a moving truck filled to the brim with everything that once filled the large three bedroom house we rented in arizona until james got fired two days before christmas. oh, i never told you the story about how we moved back to california? its a real doozy. the bad kind of doozy. (is it just me or is doozy a really ambiguous word). but i digress. 

i was determined that we would have a "real" home as soon as possible. after we moved here, i was constantly scouring the area for two (or three) bedroom places that we could make our forever (well, long term) home. i analyzed rents and deposits and calculated exactly what dollar amount we would need to bring home each month in order to get that extra bedroom (or two) a reality. sure it was an unhealthy obsession, and maybe we had some huge expensive things we needed to take care of (like a not-falling apart car and a savings account), but i was so embarrassed to be a married adult with a kid living in a crappy one bedroom apartment on the wrong side of town that for a long time this was of the utmost importance. 

now, its been about two and a half years, and were still living in the same one-bedroom apartment. and even though james has made that dollar amount that i thought would equal a bigger apartment, and we have taken care of most of those big expenses, but we dont have plans to move. were not even looking. 

why? because through these past two and a half years, ive learned to be content with what we have. more than that, ive really fallen in love with small-space living. really. yes, sometimes, people ask and i do pretend that im unhappy with our current living situation that i hope it will change soon, but thats a lie. today i want to come clean with why i secretly love our tiny home:

1. theres less to clean. this should be obvious: less rooms, less rooms to clean. i can clean the whole apartment top-to-bottom (kitchen, bathroom, floors, etc.), by myself, in about an hour. sure dirt and messes show up faster because the space is smaller, but we also spend way less time cleaning then we did when we had a bigger house. also, i spend a LOT less time looking for lost things, because, well, theres less places for things to get lost. 

2. more family time. one of the great things about our home is that we (almost) never all sit in separate rooms watching netflix on separate things and ignoring each other. partially because there arent a lot of rooms to all be in separately, but also because there isnt a whole lot of extra room for doing things. so if were all home and need something to do, we usually end up leaving the house. which is awesome. 

3. weve learned to be content with what we have. to be completely honest, james and i used to spend a lot of time shopping. we both had long, long lists of things we thought we needed and were always bringing home something from a thrift store or yard sale or clearance rack. but after we got settled here, we realized, we didnt need any of that stuff. actually, we dont need/use/want most of what we already have, and instead of filling our spare time shopping, we spend it cleaning out drawers and closets getting rid of stuff. and i love it.

4. we put a greater value on experiences over things. because of the lack of space, we no longer put a heavy emphasis on the acquisition of more things to own. instead, weve changed our focus to the things we want to do, the things we want to see, the places we want to go. and since we arent spending all our time and money on filling and maintaining a large house, we can actually do those things. 

5. theres constant opportunity for creativity. for a long time after we moved here, i never moved anything because i was so frustrated by the small space that i thought it wasnt worth it. but after a while, i noticed that in a small space, small changes can make a huge difference. so now every day we constantly look for new ways to make our space more comfortable and more efficient. 

6. we save tons of money. and no, im not talking about the $300-400 a month in rent/utilities that it would cost to have a second bedroom (though thats nice too), i mean the money that we dont spend on clothes, toys, furniture, appliances, plants, decorations, and big projects that we dont have room for. and every dollar we dont spend on a thing we dont have room for? thats another dollar for us to spend on something that might actually make us happy. 

7. less stress. less space to clean, fewer things to own/organize/maintain, lower rent/less bills to pay = less things to worry about. and as a naturally anxious, easily stressed out person, i cant think of anything better than having less things to worry about. 

8. more freedom to pursue our long term goals and dreams. living in a small space for so long has really helped us to detach ourselves from being consumed and defined by our home, from pouring all of our resources into it and all of our time into perfecting and maintaining it. we have free time to dream up the kind of future we want to have, and we have leftover money to use to build it. sure our attitude toward our home is very utilitarian and distinctly un-american, it works for us. 

so yeah, this tiny apartment that i had hoped was temporary, its done a lot for us. its taught us some important lessons about contentment and priorities, its given us the opportunity to break the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle, and the freedom to dream even bigger than just a two-bedroom apartment. 

and i love it.  

there. i said it. 

what are your thoughts on small space living? what do YOU love about your home?

how to take an extended hiatus from blogging without losing all your blog friends.

regular readers (if i have many left) already know about this, but in case you missed it, this summer was really weird. james worked out of town six days a week for a long time, and continued to work satudays (which is really unusual with his job) all the way up until after school started (he even worked a SUNDAY recently. this is COMPLETELY unheard of). because jamess hours have been super inconsistent for, well, out entire marriage, none of us is really used to not having james around all the thine (though i will admit that six months in a row of financial stability has been totes amazeballs). obviously with all this happening, plus me transitioning to working from home AND going to school three days a week, we have had, well, a prolonged season of transition. to be completely honest, were still figuring out how to make this work, but thats a topic for another day. 

long story short, with all this craziness going on, this here blog (and of course, the etsy shop) became terribly neglected. i used to post four (sometimes even five) times a week, every week, have new product in the shop most weeks, AND keep my editorial calendar a month ahead. but life happened and i lost my grip on blogging (and etsy-ing). 

being the defeatist quitter that i am (not being self-deprecating here, just being honest), i figured that if i couldnt keep my blog in tip-top shape id lose all my readers and i might as well give up. but surprisingly, i noticed after a few weeks that my blog wasnt going completely dead. yes my traffic was lower, and the percentage of probably-not-so-legitimate page views is maybe a bit more visible, BUT my daily traffic (even on days that i dont post) seems to be hovering around where it was maybe a year ago when i really started promoting myself. and when i do post, I'm still getting enough response (views, comments, etc.) that make it pretty obvious that not everyone has forgotten about me. 

which is really pretty awesome. but now that ive had some time to think about it. this wasnt really because of chance, or even that my blog friends are just way more awesome than others (though they are_ but also because of a few things that i did, that (knowingly or not) kept this little blog from going COMPLETELY dead during my absence. 

and since all the holiday craziness is coming up and I'm sure lots of you kind folks would like to take a breather, i thought id share some advice on how to keep things going (even when you arent blogging regularly:

1. stay active on social media. we all know by now that most of our personal connections are going to happen through social media rather than full blown blog content, right? well conveniently enough, it just so happens that staying active on social media (posting pictures, asking questions, sharing content you like) happens to take way less time and effort than writing full blog posts. during my break i spent some extra time developing my instagram, and you know what? its been great: i still got to keep up with my existing blog friends, i made some new ones, and it helped me find the inspiration to get writing again. 

2. pin all your posts on pinterest. i dont know about you, but quite a lot of my referring traffic comes from pinterest. and that wouldnt have happened if i hadnt pinned every. single. one. of my posts and images (whether i really thought they were all that pinnable or not) onto  the appropriate pinterest board. if youre not already doing this, start now. and when you have time, go back and do all your old posts. really. 

3. write reusable, perennial continent. a big reason my blog still has (a teeny tiny bit of) traffic even when im not posting is that the majority of my (recent) posts are (at least somewhat) perennial. and by that i mean, people still read them even weeks (or months) after i originally posted them, because what ive posted is still relevant and useful at any time. this is the main reason that ive shifted my content away from daily family life (which, while i do love writing it, doesnt have much of a shelf life when im not posting consistently) to more things like crafts, recipes, and tips. finding a good balance of timely and timeless posts seems to be the key here. 

4. write when you can. to be completely honest, the main reason i havent gotten to post much, is because im just simply not home much. and when i am home and have time to spend at the computer, i usually have jamberry or homework related things to handle. for a long time i was frustrated that i never had time to write posts, but then i started using early mornings and my breaks at school to write my posts in my notebook and make the graphics i need on my phone, so that way the only thing i need to do at the computer is type (and edit photos if necessary). the posts i write ahead of time dont always get published right away, but when i have a day with free computer time, i can bust out a post or three in no time at all. 

5. use your downtime wisely. not blogging consistently every week surprisingly meant that i had quite a bit more time to think about blogging: what i should write about, where i should go next, how i should change, etc., and instead of just sitting in my frustration about not having time to post, i used that time to brainstorm ideas, figure out my identity as a blogger, and i even booked a coaching call with kayli (which i highly recommend) to get a second (not-husband-cause-he-just-thinks-everything-is-great) opinion on where i should be headed. even though i didnt know when this break would end, i knew what to do when it did, which made it a lot easier to...

6. ease yourself back in. you know that perfectionist thing? well one side effect was that i kept telling myself i couldnt go back to blogging until AFTER i had an editorial calendar done for at LEAST a month and could go back to posting four times a week. and you know what? im not exactly in a position to do either of those things. so instead, im doing what i can, when i can, and slowly easing my way back into blogging. someday i may get back to my old pace, but if not, at least i didnt give up. 

7. dont compromise your content. it can be tempting to throw up a lame post or do something sponsored that you wouldnt normally do when you arent feeling inspired. i know, ive done it. but sometimes no post is better than something that doesnt fit (or worse, compromises your brand). sometimes something is better than nothing. but sometimes its not. 

8. most importantly, DONT APOLOGIZE. explain if you need to (especially, for instance, if the reason for your absence is relevant to the content of your post, like this one), but you DO NOT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR NOT KEEPING UP YOUR SCHEDULE. im not even going to elaborate here, you just dont have to. 

so if youre currently taking a break, planning taking a break, or are coming back from an unintentional break (like i am) i hope that you find these tips helpful! cause what are blog friends for if we dont help each other out once in a while? 

6 ways to feel more like a person when chronic illness is kicking your butt.

one of the thinks im kind of known for (at least in real life) is that i am chock full of stupid diseases. one thing i am definitely not known for, is having a good attitude about it. 

but its something ive been working hard to change lately. because somehow nearly a decade into not being able to live like a normal person (my super fun mystery health problems started showing up when i was like 15, and im going to be 25 soon, so yeah... almost a decade), ive finally accepted that while i cant control how my body feels at any given time, i can (at least try) to control how i react to my bodys stupidity. 

this has been especially important over the past couple of weeks, as my fibromyalgia joined forces with my unstable hormones to create the perfect superstorm of migraines (which ive never even had before), joint pain/swelling (to the point where my hands were essentially useless for DAYS), and two whole weeks of the worst. pms. ever (which should totally be illegal). all right before the new semester starts when i totally have a whole bunch of super important things to do RIGHT NOW. hooray. 

now, since ive recently spent quite a few days in bed with ice packs doing like one chore while alice watches tv and plays with the loudest possible toy she can find, ive obviously had a lot of time to think. i spent a lot of that time trying to think of ways to help myself not feel so crappy (emotionally) about how crappy i feel (physically). and i came up with a few ideas. 

which i thought id share, just in case any of you fellow spoonies out there (healthy people: yes, thats a thing) could use some ideas in this department. or at least a laugh at my expense. either way, im more than happy to help. 

so heres my list of ways to feel more like a human when chronic illness has you feeling like poop (i wasnt even going to try and fit that on a cute little graphic so just pretend its attached to this picture):

*note: i am (obviously) not a doctor and none of this is intended to be medical advice of any kind, simply a somewhat humorous list of my recently acquired coping skills*

1. get dressed. every day. in real clothes. i know you dont want to, but its really, really easy to give up on yourself that you couldnt possibly do anything of importance today if youre not even dressed to do anything of importance. so put on real pants, and embrace the hypothetical possibility that should you feel able to do something important, at least youre already dressed for it. 

2. put on lipstick. its really dumb how were supposed to have a reason for wearing lipstick. wearing lipstick for no reason makes me feel like coco chanel, like i can do anything. i highly recommend it. 

3. eat real food. this one is really hard because when youre weak and in pain the last thing you want to do is cook (or maybe your hands wont cooperate like mine were last week), but i promise that eating kettle corn and reeses cups all day is only going to make you feel worse. i speak from experience. 

4. lower your expectations. i have a really bad habit of guilt tripping myself for not keeping up with my usual workload (which to be completely honest is often a little unrealistic) when im not feeling well. dont do this. set the bar low, really low. like, "eat food and make sure that the other humans and animals in the house have eaten food also". then you dont have to feel bad about not accomplishing your goals for the day. 

5. do what you need to do, and dont feel bad about it. whether you have to ask for help, decline invitations, take a nap, spend way too much money on essential oils, take a break from work, neglect chores, complain to your friends, let your kid watch tv all day, wear sunglasses to church, or let your husband cook dinner (or all of the above), even though you hate, hate, hate to do any of those things. just do it. its not worth it to kill yourself trying to handle everything on your own if you cant. it also wont kill you to eat burned carrots. 

6. give yourself time to recover. dont expect to get right back into your normal grind as soon as you dont feel terrible anymore. baby steps. yesterday my mom took alice to the beach and i thought id bust out ALL THE THINGS. i ended up buying groceries, needing to ice my arms from carrying groceries, doing a couple chores, needing a nap, and then writing half a blog post before my headache got too bad and then turned on netflix while i waited for james to get home. it wasnt as much as i had hoped, but it was a lot more than i had done the day before (or the day before that). like i said, baby steps. 

so thats my list. 

even though this last flare has been probably one of the worst ive ever had, and as much as i wanted to spend the last two weeks getting the blog and shop back up and running before the fall semester starts (on monday!), im starting to feel better and things are moving along and the world is not ending. and, maybe this week i will get back into a normal workflow. 

do you live with chronic illness? whats your favorite way to make yourself feel better? id love to hear about it in the comments!