Wednesday, June 17, 2015

9 reasons why i am the worst pregnant lady ever.

ive been called a lot of bad things in my lifetime (as im sure most people have), but none of them has ever been truer than when my sister declared me the "worst. pregnant lady. ever." and well, this is a title that i just cant argue with. not even one little bit. because you know what? i do totally suck at this whole pregnancy thing. why exactly? well...

1. i dont do belly pictures. some women feel really confident and attractive during pregnancy. i am not one of those women. i feel like a fat, bloated, greasy whale with about three outfits that fit and i do not want to remember (or be remembered for) looking the way i look now. honestly, im pretty dang shocked at how many pictures of me exist from this pregnancy considering there are exactly three remaining from when i was pregnant with alice. 

2. i dont do "bumpdates". yeah, i know im technically a mom blogger. and im pregnant. but i havent been posting my cravings and symptoms or the status of my belly button or a running tab of my weight gain because frankly, thats nobodys business. also, spoiler alert from a somewhat experienced pregnancy haver: very little changes from week to week and basically all pregnancies are the same. 

3. no gender. were not finding out the gender of this baby. we didnt do it with alice and we wont do it with any future kids we may or may not have. why? because i think its super fun and i like having a big surprise to look forward to at the end of all this. also, there was a somewhat traumatic incident when i was seven where my mom was told for certain that she was having a girl and we were very excited and prepared for a new baby sister named sarah but she turned out to be my brother andrew. i would rather not repeat this scenario. 

4. no names. obviously since we dont know the gender, we havent named this baby in advance. we do have a boy name and girl name picked that we think are pretty solid, but were not telling what they are. partially because of the possibility of situations like the above example of my brother (or the lady i knew once who had baby shower invites printed with the babys name, and then changed her mind before the shower even happened), and partially because once you start letting name ideas out, everyone has something negative to say about the name you picked and tries to get you to use THEIR name idea that you hate. im just not even going to play that game this time. 

5. im really not that into baby stuff. i think ive mentioned my baby registry before, right? in case i havent, its basically just diapers and grey pajamas and a few higher-end appliances that would be nice to have but i really dont care that much about getting. why? because we already have WAY more baby stuff than we need. honestly, i just cleaned out the newborn stuff we were storing at my moms and am considering taking the pajamas off the registry because actually were totally set on clothes. and as for buying things/making the nursery/getting ready for baby? im 36 weeks now and we JUST started...

6. actually i dont even like babies that much. look, i LOVE being a mom, its what ive always wanted to do and generally speaking its pretty awesome. that being said, i honestly dont get whats so great about new babies. i mean, theyre small, which is cute, but they dont do much for a really, really long time. toddlers, on the other hand? toddlers are super fun. im REALLY excited about having another toddler in the house in about a year. (not sarcasm)

7. all this attention makes me really uncomfortable. if it were up to me, we wouldnt have even announced this pregnancy until i started showing up places with an already born baby. why? because the second people know youre pregnant they start getting way up in your business and i am not ok with this at all. im getting a TON of REALLY rude, invasive, and totally inappropriate questions and comments from everyone everywhere i go (dont even get me STARTED on the things people have been asking me at church every week). thankfully i look like a mean, scary person so i havent had to deal with much unwanted belly touching (still not an ok thing to do EVER, just FYI). 

8. i really, really do not enjoy being pregnant. pregnancy tends to get represented as this joyous, exciting, rainbows and unicorns good time where women glow and feel fantastic, and while sure, that stuff is in there sometimes, the majority of it is really weird, gross, and uncomfortable. some of us do not glow. some of us spend approximately 40 weeks sick, tired, and in a lot of pain. i am totally 100% one of those people and im not going to pretend i feel great or am enjoying this process. unfortunately, this is very much the wrong answer to everyone who asks how im feeling and then tries to convince me that i should LOVE being pregnant...

9. honestly, id rather talk about anything else. a new baby is always a big exciting thing and obviously theres lots to talk about: how the pregnancy is going, the fun projects im working on, what were going to do when the babys here, which honestly i dont mind at all. but since im pregnant, all anyone wants to talk about ever is pregnancy and babies (mine or their own or someone they know or stuff they read or whatever). i have literally no idea whats going on in the lives of most people i know (also, i now know WAY too much that i dont want to know about people i barely know), because 99% of conversations i get involved in are about babies and the remaining conversations that i initiate about other topics turn into conversations about babies... i would just really like to talk about something else, ok? 

am i excited about growing our little family? absolutely. do i realize that this whole post made me sound like a huge jerk? of course. its just, im not all that into pregnancy, and im a much, much bigger fan of the baby-living-outside-of-my-body part of this whole having kids thing. 

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  1. I so feel you on most of these. I do have a blog where I do "bumpdates" as you call them and post weekly pictures (the one day a week I put the effort into looking semi normal and not wearing my pajamas), but it's private and only for family members and ultra close friends (since they live on another continent, I figure it's the least I could do to keep them updated). We did find out the gender but haven't told anyone, which is annoying or frustrating for them, but... not their baby. And also, like you said, no one's business but yours and your partners. Plus, I really hate when people say "preggers" or "prego." Those words gross me out the way some people hate the word "moist."

  2. Lol... I'm 35 weeks tomorrow - and definitely reached the point of being over this pregnancy. I realized attention makes me really uncomfortable. I had a small surprise shower in April and I was so embarrassed, especially opening gifts - I just felt really weird.

    The name game is funny. In one ear, out the other.

  3. Your number 3 made me laugh so hard. I think it's cool that you don't know gender and are going with the flow on names too. I think that makes you an awesome pregnant person haha!

  4. aw, thanks! its funny how now that I'm letting more of this stuff out, I'm finding more younger folks that dont think I'm so crazy. ha, its a true story, there was a girl baby shower and a girl nursery and everything!

  5. oh man aukele.... my shower is tomorrow and I'm having SO much anxiety about it. not just the attention and awkward present opening, but also the STUFF. i WISH i could not take the name game seriously (because james and i do have a lot of fun picking baby names), but with alice things got HEATED with certain family members so this time i figured it was better to stay mum.

  6. "bumpdates" can definitely be a great thing for journaling or keeping family and friends updated, i just dont feel comfortable publicly posting some of the things i see from a lot of other mom bloggers EVERY WEEK. i am AMAZED you found out the gender and havent spilled! james has suggested that we do that but i KNOW that if i knew i wouldnt be able to keep it a secret. ha, i totally agree about "preggers" and "prego", i feel very similarly about the words "hubby" and "hubs"

  7. Ew, yes, I hate hubby and hubs. Any of these "cutesy" abbreviations of things....

    I actually was great with gender, though my husband let it slip twice. One time the person caught it but was sworn to secrecy, and the other time the person didn't notice. Not sure if we'll do the same when we decide to have another kid, but that's a ways away, so...