6 ways to feel more like a person when chronic illness is kicking your butt.

one of the thinks im kind of known for (at least in real life) is that i am chock full of stupid diseases. one thing i am definitely not known for, is having a good attitude about it. 

but its something ive been working hard to change lately. because somehow nearly a decade into not being able to live like a normal person (my super fun mystery health problems started showing up when i was like 15, and im going to be 25 soon, so yeah... almost a decade), ive finally accepted that while i cant control how my body feels at any given time, i can (at least try) to control how i react to my bodys stupidity. 

this has been especially important over the past couple of weeks, as my fibromyalgia joined forces with my unstable hormones to create the perfect superstorm of migraines (which ive never even had before), joint pain/swelling (to the point where my hands were essentially useless for DAYS), and two whole weeks of the worst. pms. ever (which should totally be illegal). all right before the new semester starts when i totally have a whole bunch of super important things to do RIGHT NOW. hooray. 

now, since ive recently spent quite a few days in bed with ice packs doing like one chore while alice watches tv and plays with the loudest possible toy she can find, ive obviously had a lot of time to think. i spent a lot of that time trying to think of ways to help myself not feel so crappy (emotionally) about how crappy i feel (physically). and i came up with a few ideas. 

which i thought id share, just in case any of you fellow spoonies out there (healthy people: yes, thats a thing) could use some ideas in this department. or at least a laugh at my expense. either way, im more than happy to help. 

so heres my list of ways to feel more like a human when chronic illness has you feeling like poop (i wasnt even going to try and fit that on a cute little graphic so just pretend its attached to this picture):

*note: i am (obviously) not a doctor and none of this is intended to be medical advice of any kind, simply a somewhat humorous list of my recently acquired coping skills*

1. get dressed. every day. in real clothes. i know you dont want to, but its really, really easy to give up on yourself that you couldnt possibly do anything of importance today if youre not even dressed to do anything of importance. so put on real pants, and embrace the hypothetical possibility that should you feel able to do something important, at least youre already dressed for it. 

2. put on lipstick. its really dumb how were supposed to have a reason for wearing lipstick. wearing lipstick for no reason makes me feel like coco chanel, like i can do anything. i highly recommend it. 

3. eat real food. this one is really hard because when youre weak and in pain the last thing you want to do is cook (or maybe your hands wont cooperate like mine were last week), but i promise that eating kettle corn and reeses cups all day is only going to make you feel worse. i speak from experience. 

4. lower your expectations. i have a really bad habit of guilt tripping myself for not keeping up with my usual workload (which to be completely honest is often a little unrealistic) when im not feeling well. dont do this. set the bar low, really low. like, "eat food and make sure that the other humans and animals in the house have eaten food also". then you dont have to feel bad about not accomplishing your goals for the day. 

5. do what you need to do, and dont feel bad about it. whether you have to ask for help, decline invitations, take a nap, spend way too much money on essential oils, take a break from work, neglect chores, complain to your friends, let your kid watch tv all day, wear sunglasses to church, or let your husband cook dinner (or all of the above), even though you hate, hate, hate to do any of those things. just do it. its not worth it to kill yourself trying to handle everything on your own if you cant. it also wont kill you to eat burned carrots. 

6. give yourself time to recover. dont expect to get right back into your normal grind as soon as you dont feel terrible anymore. baby steps. yesterday my mom took alice to the beach and i thought id bust out ALL THE THINGS. i ended up buying groceries, needing to ice my arms from carrying groceries, doing a couple chores, needing a nap, and then writing half a blog post before my headache got too bad and then turned on netflix while i waited for james to get home. it wasnt as much as i had hoped, but it was a lot more than i had done the day before (or the day before that). like i said, baby steps. 

so thats my list. 

even though this last flare has been probably one of the worst ive ever had, and as much as i wanted to spend the last two weeks getting the blog and shop back up and running before the fall semester starts (on monday!), im starting to feel better and things are moving along and the world is not ending. and, maybe this week i will get back into a normal workflow. 

do you live with chronic illness? whats your favorite way to make yourself feel better? id love to hear about it in the comments!

its time to kick the summer lazies.

im not going to lie, this summer has been an exceptionally lazy one. i mean, youve probably noticed that i havent been around much (or at all) right here, but blogging isnt the only area where ive let myself get lazy. part of it was due to james spending so long out of town, part of it was transitioning into full-blown self employment, part of it was burnout, and part of it was my fibromyalgia REALLY not getting along with this exceptionally humid summer. 

but reasoning aside, i havent been writing AT ALL, i havent (aside from preparations for create 2014) made (or even planned) ANYTHING for the shop, my jamberry calendar is empty until mid september. all my usual routines, structures, and busy-ness? thats all been a mess: the chore rotation is off, the errand schedule is a mess, and i dont even want to THINK about how much take out weve been eating. we certainly have NOT been keeping  close tabs on our finances.

but im not sorry, not one little bit. 

we needed the break. well, i guess it hasnt really been much of a break for james, hes STILL working tons and tons (fortunately in town, though). so what i mean by that is i needed the break. earlier this year i was working three jobs, rushing all over the place trying  to keep everything from falling apart, and for the last couple months, i havent had to do that. so i just sat back and enjoyed not having to do it. and it was awesome. 

but all good things must come to an end, and since school starts in two (!!!) weeks, now is that time. ive been easing myself back onto the meal planning/errand running/housekeeping/budgeting wagon, and for the most part, i can feel those things all getting back on track. 

and with the little things under control, im feeling a little less lazy and a little more ready to get serious about blogging again, about running the shop like a legitimate business, about planning AWESOME birthday parties for alice and i, about tackling home projects, and putting some major work into our long term family goals. 

like going on vacation. no seriously, were going on vacation next month. is this even real life?

p.s. everybody please notice my super amazing and adorable CUSTOM handmade (and surprisingly affordable!) bathing suit from beverly swimwear. shes amazing and will totally hook you up with the best suit ever (and she didnt pay me to say that). 

sometimes i forget that im sick (a nice morning at disneyland + weekly wishes)

last week we had a pretty full week. james was home most of the week (but since hes worked full time basically the whole month, i wasnt worried about it), and tuesday, he was so kind as to take alice to the beach so i could work. this was especially awesome because, drumroll please.... i was able to FINISH a little batch of scarves for the shop. this one with the bow print is my favorite: 

then, the rest of the week was fairly uneventful, i dont think we did anything notable except driving across town to the running shoe store because i found a fantastic deal on the nike frees that i had decided on getting (there was another shoe that was even lighter and more supportive, but really, i couldnt handle feeling like my feet were in an iron maiden). 

obviously why thursday night we were getting bored, and alice has been asking for the jungle cruise just about every day. so friday we decided to spend the morning at disneyland. normally id pack a lunch for us, but james was extremely antsy to get there quickly since big thunder mountain railroad just re-opened (its been closed for like, two years. this was a big deal), so we decided that it was our special family date for the week and wed also go out for lunch (ultimately, this was a fantastic call on jamess part because i had an incredible gluten free pizza that im still fantasizing about). 

we were at the park for maybe four, four and a half hours, and it was great. alice got her jungle cruise:

hung out with the goats:

got to meet robin hood (seriously, in my whole life ive NEVER seen robin hood):

we had forgotten to bring alices autograph book. obviously since robin hood was there (a favorite of both james AND alice) we had to get a new one. 

then after lunch alice had a special request. she wanted to ride the "space rockets" (astro orbiters or whatever, its basically dumbo but in tomorrow land). since shes asked to go on this ride probably the last three times weve been at disneyland right as were about to leave so weve always said no. we made sure she got to try the space rockets:

and i dont think ive ever seen her so excited about anything in her whole life. as soon as we got in the little rocket (which was WAY smaller than i remember it being), alice yelled "are you ready guys! lets blast off!" before we could even get the seatbelt on her. i just about died. 

then after that, james and i used our big thunder mountain fast passes (which we miraculously got right after they re-opened the fast pass distribution after closing it for some technical difficulties so we only had to wait about an hour), and then we went home for alices nap time. 

at which point i did all of the days chores that id neglected by playing hooky at disneyland, then cooked an elaborate dinner, and then went to bed thinking i could just pop right out of bed and make it to my friends bridal shower at 10:30. you know, like a normal person.

well, turns out i was wrong. so, so, so wrong. i did wake up on time, but i was still so groggy and in so much pain that getting dressed and putting on makeup and shoes felt like wrestling a bear. by time i had done those three small things (that I'm sure most people do every day without even thinking about it), i was so tired, so sore, and so emotional, that i just couldnt do anything else. i spent most of the day in bed, crying. wearing my fancy bridal shower dress. because all we did was spend four hours at disneyland and i SHOULD be able to do something as simple as go to a party. 

but i couldnt. and really, i should have expected that. because, im not a normal person. im sick. and sometimes (well, a lot of the time, lately) i forget about that. while having fibromyalgia doesnt really stop me from doing anything, it most certainly keeps me from being able to do everything. and lately, ive been too hard to be wonder woman. to say yes to everyone and to do all the things and go all the places and do all the work and have all the fun.

i feel like this would be draining enough for a healthy person, but for me, each seemingly small activity brings its own little baggage of pain and fatigue, and unless i take lots and lots of breaks (more than even i think i need), to deal with each thing one at a time, it all rolls together and compounds until i spend an entire day sobbing in the fetal position because i tried to do two big busy weekends in a row (remember, last weekend, we went to the zoo). and i really have to stop doing this. 

over the past eight (ish) years, ive learned to get used to living with fibromyalgia. to be happy with a slower, quieter, less busy life than what most people are used to. and most of the time, its not bad at all. yes i get tired easily, yes it takes me a very long time to recover from something as simple as a bike ride, and yes i am usually in a medium to severe amount of pain that no medicine really fixes. but as long as i take things slow, as long as i get plenty of rest, i can do whats important. i just, cant expect stressing over getting to a morning bridal shower immediately after letting myself get way too busy too many weekends in a row to result in anything other than panic attacks. 

i guess thats my life lesson for the week. 

on a much less somber note, my first fashion class starts tonight! 

AND, as i mentioned earlier, i bought running shoes and attempted to get my student id (turns out the day i went was during spring break so no one was there, next week ill try again) so last weeks weekly wishes went well. 

whats up for this week? mainly i just want to get a good start on my classes and get my textbooks taken care of. 

what are your goals for this week?

(p.s. stay tuned for tomorrow because ive got a REALLY exciting giveaway coming up!)