bat's day at the fun park (a family outfit post)

my outfit details: 

top: h&m

skirt: vintage

boots: hand me down

corset: alice and willow

glasses: zenni optical

alices outfit details: 

top: vintage

leggings: gift 

shoes: gift (but i think they were from kohl's)

jamess outfit details:

shirt: gift 

vest: vintage

pants: h&m

shoes: vintage

pocketwatch: vintage

bow tie: handmade (by me!)

so, two thirds of the way through may, i think ive finally settled on a theme: "out". so far, may has been a great time for out. out with all our old junk (we had our first family yard sale on saturday), time out with friends and family (we were gone something like six of the last seven evenings), and now that my semester is over, lots of time for family outings (like the beach and disneyland). 

which brings us to todays topic: sunday was bats day at the fun park, and, if you know me, theme days at disneyland are my jam (i mean, dapper day, anyone?). now, obviously the three of us arent exactly involved in the goth community, so in order to not be, you know dressing in costume and effectively mocking an entire subculture, we went with a more victorian-influenced theme for our outfits. which was fairly easy for james and i because the vast majority of my clothes are black or some combination of black and white, and jamess typical fancy attire involves a vest and pocket watch anyway. we werent sure what to do with alice though. until we found that PERFECT vintage top in a random bag of orphan hand-me-downs at my moms garage sale. 

now, i had wanted to go to bats day again ever since james and i accidentally went last year (which was also on cinco de mayo, there was an interesting crowd that day), and we have ALL been waiting for my semester to end so we could have a REAL, ALL DAY disneyland day with lunch and treats and souvenirs and all that. 

which we did get, except, it was the crowdedest day ive probably ever seen in all my years of going to disneyland. were talking, going through sections of the upstairs line on the jungle cruise that i didnt even know EXISTED crowded. so there wasnt a lot of ride riding, and a big chunk of the day was spent at big thunder ranch, which i dont mind at all because its NEVER crowded and alice loves the goats and things like this happen:

it was crowded, it was hot, apparently pizza port stopped giving free refills, and my corset almost made me pull an elizabeth swan (its a real, steel boned waist training corset), but i cant say it was a bad day, because we did get the long day at disneyland weve been waiting for all semester, and somebody really needed a break from all the homework and cleaning and furniture moving:

 (obviously, that somebody is alice)

sometimes i forget that im sick (a nice morning at disneyland + weekly wishes)

last week we had a pretty full week. james was home most of the week (but since hes worked full time basically the whole month, i wasnt worried about it), and tuesday, he was so kind as to take alice to the beach so i could work. this was especially awesome because, drumroll please.... i was able to FINISH a little batch of scarves for the shop. this one with the bow print is my favorite: 

then, the rest of the week was fairly uneventful, i dont think we did anything notable except driving across town to the running shoe store because i found a fantastic deal on the nike frees that i had decided on getting (there was another shoe that was even lighter and more supportive, but really, i couldnt handle feeling like my feet were in an iron maiden). 

obviously why thursday night we were getting bored, and alice has been asking for the jungle cruise just about every day. so friday we decided to spend the morning at disneyland. normally id pack a lunch for us, but james was extremely antsy to get there quickly since big thunder mountain railroad just re-opened (its been closed for like, two years. this was a big deal), so we decided that it was our special family date for the week and wed also go out for lunch (ultimately, this was a fantastic call on jamess part because i had an incredible gluten free pizza that im still fantasizing about). 

we were at the park for maybe four, four and a half hours, and it was great. alice got her jungle cruise:

hung out with the goats:

got to meet robin hood (seriously, in my whole life ive NEVER seen robin hood):

we had forgotten to bring alices autograph book. obviously since robin hood was there (a favorite of both james AND alice) we had to get a new one. 

then after lunch alice had a special request. she wanted to ride the "space rockets" (astro orbiters or whatever, its basically dumbo but in tomorrow land). since shes asked to go on this ride probably the last three times weve been at disneyland right as were about to leave so weve always said no. we made sure she got to try the space rockets:

and i dont think ive ever seen her so excited about anything in her whole life. as soon as we got in the little rocket (which was WAY smaller than i remember it being), alice yelled "are you ready guys! lets blast off!" before we could even get the seatbelt on her. i just about died. 

then after that, james and i used our big thunder mountain fast passes (which we miraculously got right after they re-opened the fast pass distribution after closing it for some technical difficulties so we only had to wait about an hour), and then we went home for alices nap time. 

at which point i did all of the days chores that id neglected by playing hooky at disneyland, then cooked an elaborate dinner, and then went to bed thinking i could just pop right out of bed and make it to my friends bridal shower at 10:30. you know, like a normal person.

well, turns out i was wrong. so, so, so wrong. i did wake up on time, but i was still so groggy and in so much pain that getting dressed and putting on makeup and shoes felt like wrestling a bear. by time i had done those three small things (that I'm sure most people do every day without even thinking about it), i was so tired, so sore, and so emotional, that i just couldnt do anything else. i spent most of the day in bed, crying. wearing my fancy bridal shower dress. because all we did was spend four hours at disneyland and i SHOULD be able to do something as simple as go to a party. 

but i couldnt. and really, i should have expected that. because, im not a normal person. im sick. and sometimes (well, a lot of the time, lately) i forget about that. while having fibromyalgia doesnt really stop me from doing anything, it most certainly keeps me from being able to do everything. and lately, ive been too hard to be wonder woman. to say yes to everyone and to do all the things and go all the places and do all the work and have all the fun.

i feel like this would be draining enough for a healthy person, but for me, each seemingly small activity brings its own little baggage of pain and fatigue, and unless i take lots and lots of breaks (more than even i think i need), to deal with each thing one at a time, it all rolls together and compounds until i spend an entire day sobbing in the fetal position because i tried to do two big busy weekends in a row (remember, last weekend, we went to the zoo). and i really have to stop doing this. 

over the past eight (ish) years, ive learned to get used to living with fibromyalgia. to be happy with a slower, quieter, less busy life than what most people are used to. and most of the time, its not bad at all. yes i get tired easily, yes it takes me a very long time to recover from something as simple as a bike ride, and yes i am usually in a medium to severe amount of pain that no medicine really fixes. but as long as i take things slow, as long as i get plenty of rest, i can do whats important. i just, cant expect stressing over getting to a morning bridal shower immediately after letting myself get way too busy too many weekends in a row to result in anything other than panic attacks. 

i guess thats my life lesson for the week. 

on a much less somber note, my first fashion class starts tonight! 

AND, as i mentioned earlier, i bought running shoes and attempted to get my student id (turns out the day i went was during spring break so no one was there, next week ill try again) so last weeks weekly wishes went well. 

whats up for this week? mainly i just want to get a good start on my classes and get my textbooks taken care of. 

what are your goals for this week?

(p.s. stay tuned for tomorrow because ive got a REALLY exciting giveaway coming up!)

the time i tried to wear my wedding dress to disneyland (+ what we did this year for dapper day)

so, this past sunday was dapper day at disneyland. but before i tell you about this years spring dapper day, i thought id take a few minutes to tell a rather hilarious story from last years dapper day that i just remembered that i never actually told here:

see, at the beginning of last year was when i first found out about dapper day (which, if youre not familiar with it, is an unofficial disneyland event where people go to disneyland in formal/vintage attire and its amazing), and obviously WE HAD TO GO. my mom even offered to watch alice so that james and i (plus my sister and one of her friends) could chill out and go on big rides and stuff. awesome. 

then i got to thinking about vintagey formal wear. and you know what i had in a giant ziploc bag in my closet that probably still fit and needed to be put to some kind of use? my wedding dress. (oh, come on, im really supposed to just wear it once and just begrudgingly store it for the rest of my life, oh please) so my mom and i spent an afternoon sewing a bustle into it (since it wasnt a wedding wedding dress it didnt have one in there already) so it wouldnt drag and it was decided that i was going to wear it to dapper day. 

then when the day came we got all fancy and snapped a quick family photo before dropping alice off (please notice how she is NOT amused that we were going to disneyland without her):

but unfortunately thats the only photo we got while i was still wearing my wedding dress. 

because as soon as we got inside the park, i was made VERY aware that wedding dresses are NOT allowed inside disneyland. like, at all. as in, a security guard escorted my sister and i out of the park to the outside bathrooms so that i could change, to the locker room to be SURE that it was locked in a locker, and back inside the park. 

so obviously we made a big fuss about how they totally ruined our wedding day (a lie) and that it was totally illogical that ALL OF THE OTHER CAST MEMBERS that saw me outside of the park didnt say anything (that part was true). and then they gave us two eight-person fast passes for any ride we wanted. (and then we got to ride the cars ride without waiting in line which should be a lessons as to why its always a good idea to lie to disneyland cast members)

and since i totally anticipated something of this sort happening, i did bring a back up dress:

and really everything after that was awesome. obviously we were SUPER stoked for when dapper day rolled around again (and, this time i planned an outfit that would not get me sternly escorted out of the park). 

so we got all fancied up and went to disneyland. unfortunately though, i was still EXTREMELY drained from the previous days blogger brunch, so instead of a super exciting do-all-the-things disneyland day, it was more of a relaxed lets-just-people-watch-and-have-a-nice-lunch disneyland day. and those are nice too. 

actually, I'm really glad we decided our intentions for the day ahead of time, because sunday was seriously THE crowdedest that I've EVER seen disneyland, EVER. it took us about a half hour to park, IN THE MOST PERFECT, EFFICIENT, WELL DESIGNED PARKING STRUCTURE EVER. it was insane. 

anyway, once we FINALLY got into the park (and a nice gentleman gave us his fast passes for indiana jones), we decided to take pictures. they're doing a bunch of construction in new orleans square right now so my normal photo spot wasnt accessible, so we decided the next best place would be the mark twain. 

here we are separately:

 

and then together:

next we tried to do a proper outfit shoot, but it turns out thats a difficult thing to do when youre on a steam powered riverboat, but we did our best (also, a stranger lady was TOTALLY taking pictures of me too, which was totally weird):

outfit details:

top, skirt, stole, and bag: vintage

tights: target

shoes: urban outfitters

glasses: zenni optical

so, it was about 80 degrees out on sunday, and i was wearing a fox fur stole it got uncomfortable a couple times, but, i mean, how often do i get to wear, as alice calls it, my "puppy scarf" (no joke, when she woke up sunday morning and saw my outfit the first thing out of her mouth was "mommy! i like your puppy scarf!". the stole has a funny story: one day a friend of mine sent me a facebook message asking me if i wanted some old furs his friend was getting rid of, and i answered (somewhat facetiously) "only if they're the kinds with the heads and legs still attached", to which he answered "even better, the glass eyes dont even match", and i was like "sold!". and now alice calls it my "puppy scarf" which is equal parts adorable and observant and sad and gross all at the same time and i love it. 

now as SOON as i saw these pictures i realized something: i should NOT have been wearing black tights. i TOTALLY needed nude or white stockings but i didnt have any and now i feel really self conscious. 

but otherwise i really loved this outfit (and that i managed to get my hair looking nice), and apparently lots of other people did too, because seriously SO MANY people stopped us to take our picture. like, the only other time id been photographed that much was at my wedding. 

then after pictures we had lunch at cafe orleans, which i cant believe that id never been to before because HOLY CRAP THEY HAVE MY TWO FAVORITE FOODS EVER. garlic fries (with an AMAZING remoulade sauce) and a mixed green salad with raspberry vinaigrette and goat cheese:

 remember how i said it was super crowded? well there was a 45 minute wait for a table. 45 minutes. for lunch. i mean, its not like we had anywhere we needed to be and it was totally worth it, but still. thats forever in waiting for lunch time. 

as we were eating we noticed that the mark twain meet up was starting (and by that i mean, entire boatloads of adorable dapper day folks were on the mark twain waving and shouting), so james and i decided to join them, since last year we missed all the official dapper day activities.

now remember yesterday when i said i made a new friend at the brunch that was going to dapper day too? nikki and i totally hit it off at the blogger brunch and had been tweeting each other about trying to meet up at some point sunday, and we were able to find each other in the line for the mark twain line!:

 and had a grand old time during the meet up itself:

(photo stolen from nikkis instagram)

after the mark twain, we used our star tours fast passes (i think id go so far as to say thats my current favorite "big ride") and james asked my how i was feeling (since he know that two big outings in a row is something that usually doesnt go well for me), i said "im not feeling bad yet, but i definitely dont feel good anymore" and being the gentleman that he is, he suggested that we get going before i actually started to feel bad, and me being me, i replied "ok, but can we get ice cream first?". so we got ice cream. and then went home. 

it was a nice day. 

i really hope we can make it to the fall dapper day too!

the time i went to a blogger brunch (an outfit post + what its like to have social anxiety)

so, here i am, writing a blog post on a wednesday night. 

and if youve been hanging around for a while, youre probably thinking something like "hey, wait. victoria doesn't blog on wednesdays. also, what the heck happened to monday and tuesdays posts?"

and you would be absolutely right. wednesday is the day i do our meal plan, buy our groceries, and teach at our churchs homeschool co op (right now im teaching color theory and its AWESOME), and for quite some time now poverty luxe has had a very strict monday/tuesday/thursday/saturday posting schedule. 

well, last week, things got weird. 

and by weird i mean james started working again. the last time james had any work was for three days over a month ago, and the last time before that was sometime significantly before christmas. so, i think i can speak for all three of us when i say that NONE OF US were prepared to handle something as completely mundane and normal (i almost said banal but then i remembered that not everybody spent way to long in art school and uses such words in casual conversation) as you know, the head of the household going to work at his normal job all day. to make things even weirder, james is also working out of town this week (and possibly even next week too). 

also, last tuesday james had his third interview for a really neat job opportunity at a local yoga mat company. and three interviews is exactly how many interviews it takes for me to start elaborately constructing a detailed fantasy life revolving around all the things an obsessively thrifty housewife could do with a modest but consistent and reliable income (and not to mention the predictable schedule!). 

well, if youve paid any attention to the things ive been saying on twitter, we found out on monday that james did not get hired at the yoga mat company. and thus i was plunged into a vicious downward spiral of cookies and despair, as i bitterly mourned the fleeting hope of such extravagant luxuries as buying things at target that werent on my list, regular paychecks that are always the same amount, and not having three part time jobs while also attending college. 

a reaction that admittedly would have been much more civil had i not completely overtaxed myself physically, mentally, and emotionally over the weekend by pushing myself SO FAR OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE THAT I WAS BASICALLY ON AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PLANET OF UNCOMFORTABLENESS. and not just once, because that would just be far too reasonable thing for me to do, i did it twice. in a row. 

because its not like i already knew the extent of my crippling social anxiety that ive had basically my whole life and how doing such a thing would effect my emotions/behavior for the next week or so (sarcasm). 

but really its not my fault that the blogger brunch that melyssa organized just happened to be the day before dapper day, is it? 

now, before i start digging deeper into talking about the (quite lovely) blogger brunch and my anxiety and how the two really didn't mix well, i (obviously) want to talk about what i wore on saturday:

outfit details:

top: urban outfitters (got it on clearance for $6!)

skirt: vintage (purchased at the silver lake art craft and vintage market)

shoes: vintage (purchased at buffalo exchange)

purse: vintage (purchased at an estate sale)

bow: poverty luxe

necklace: target (old)

glasses: zenni optical

those pictures were taken before i left for the brunch, and i dont know if you can tell by looking, but i was a fidgety, wiggly, nervous MESS as we tried to do this outfit shoot. james and i can usually shoot an outfit in like 20 frames. this one took at LEAST 50 and most of them were terrible. it was bad. 

now, i started freaking out about what to wear maybe two weeks before the brunch, but by friday i had managed to put together two complete outfits that met the following criteria: cute, comfortable, an accurate representation of who i am both professionally and as a regular person, AND similar to what i would wear on the blog, but not too similar to something id already worn on the blog. and then i made james pick. he definitely made the better choice. 

funny story though: the other outfit involved wearing one of the skirts from my shop. multiple ladies at the brunch asked if i had made my skirt (i didnt). also, that camera shirt is basically my new favorite shirt ever, its SO SOFT and comfortable and fits perfectly and IT WAS ONLY SIX DOLLARS. all in all i felt pretty confident in my appearance that day (excellent choice james!). 

which was great because that was about all the confidence i had for the entire rest of the day. james basically had to force me out the front door to leave. 

but i did eventually leave, and i got to the location (which by the way was the absolutely LOVELY gallery great over good in santa ana) a few minutes early without even getting lost once (which is pretty incredible seeing as i ALWAYS drive past the place im going to if im going to a place for the first time ever). 

and then i sat in my car for like ten minutes seriously trying my darndest to not have a heart attack. 

at first i was afraid to get out of the car because what if i was at the wrong place, then i saw several ladies that were obviously bloggers get out of their cars and forced myself to get out and join them. but i left the bags of clothing i had brought to donate in my car so i had an escape route just in case i needed to leave for a minute. 

when i got inside the gallery i was warmly greeted by several very sweet ladies, and this very lovely chalkboard wall (p.s. this was basically the only picture i took because i was too nervous for any of my photos to come out nice. nicole and justina both wrote wonderful posts about the brunch though if you want to see pictures!):

and was told to join all of the other ladies that were mingling in the other room. 

mingling. 

if there is one thing in life that i CAN NOT do for the life of me, its mingle. 

and then things started to get really embarrassing. 

i started shaking. 

visibly, physically shaking like one of those tiny ugly dogs that i hate so much (really though i just hate all dogs). and i almost started crying. 

then something really surreal happened: julie (of julie ann art, who i first "met" on the etsy forums when we first started selling on etsy, whos blog ive been following basically since it started, who is basically the number one person that inspired me to pursue blogging professionally, but obviously i couldnt say any of that at the brunch because that would have been weird) called me over and introduced me to her nikki (of delovely details) and sort of broke the ice and helped me feel more comfortable talking to all of these new people. 

and im really glad she did, one because if she hadn't i probably would have turned around and drove home, and two, it turns our nikki and i both REALLY love disneyland and were both going to dapper day. so, thanks julie, you totally saved the day. 

after that, i definitely felt better, but it didnt really make me any better at mingling. you see, generally im very timid and dont want to interrupt any existing conversations to introduce myself (even though i know thats how mingling is supposed to work, it just seems... weird). also, i find small talk very unnatural and difficult, i mean, if somebody asks me a direct question i can answer it and maybe even provide a follow up question, but general small talk in a group situation? basically i just mentally shut down. 

and it really doesnt help that i have a very hard time carrying on a conversation when there are other conversations happening nearby at the same time so the small talk i did make was very strained and draining (is that weird, i feel like its weird). 

thankfully it was soon time to eat, and then at least i was sitting with the same group for a while to try and get to know them a bit better (at which point i noticed that i was probably the youngest lady there and i was DEFINITELY the only mom, which made me feel a little weird, but thats an entirely different issue), and after lunch, i started feeling more comfortable talking to different people. it didnt get any easier per se, but it was less terrifying, i guess. 

but i needed a breath of fresh air so i excused myself for a couple minutes to go get those clothes out of my car, and THAT felt really good. i almost started crying there but i regained my composure and returned to the brunch for the craft (we made some AMAZING body scrub), and a little more socializing (i wanted to make sure that i talked to everyone at least once) before i noticed that people were leaving so i should probably leave too. 

now, i realize that the way im talking about this experience may make it seem like i didnt enjoy it or that i wasnt having fun, and that is NOT the case, i DID very much enjoy the brunch. the food was delicious, the people were nice, and over all i had a very good time (in fact, ill probably go to the next event, too). im really glad i went. the thing is though, that the entire experience was terrifying and beyond exhausting (mentally and emotionally), once i got home i was basically ready to go straight to bed for the night. unfortunately i got home at like 2:30 so that was definitely not an option. 

and i guess really what i want to do here is shed some light on what social anxiety is actually like, because i get the feeling that most people just think im a jerk.

going to this brunch was probably the biggest challenge ive faced regarding my anxiety basically the entire time weve lived in california (i had a LOT of bad experiences living in arizona that resulted in me coming back VERY agoraphobic, and im still working on getting out of that bubble), and honestly, if my mom hadn't payed for my ticket, i would have chickened out. but, my mom probably knew that. 

so, thanks mom, for the ticket. thanks melyssa for organizing the lovely event. thanks julie for reaching out and helping me feel welcome. and thanks everyone reading for putting up with this excessively long post.

stay tuned for tomorrows post where i talk about dapper day!

january in review.

so, i think im bringing back my "month in review" feature. i havent done it in a couple months and ive missed it. i really did like re-visiting all the highlights of the past month, and this also seems like an appropriate time to check in on my monthly wishes. 

so heres some cool stuff that happened january, theres the real-life things, like: 

we spent new years eve with friends for the first time ever.

alice made her first sculpture:

i gave her some of those biodegradable packing peanuts and showed her how to lick them and stick them together. she made that crazy piece, which she named "snowman" (note: right now everything is a snowman). 

alice is back in ballet class:

i announced that im going back to school, AND we celebrated our two-year anniversary of moving to california. 

alices friend quinn had a superhero themed birthday party and asked everyone to dress up as their favorite hero, so naturally we did our first ever family cosplay in a doctor who theme, with james dressed as the eleventh doctor:

alice as the tardis:

and me as amy pond (admittedly, not nearly as good of a costume as james and alice):

james and i went to the namm show. 

and we had our first disneyland day of 2014:

and then theres the blog/shop things, like:

i completely changed both how i approach writing content for this blog AND how i market it and the results have been INCREDIBLE. i mean, the month isnt even over yet and all my stats have surpassed every record high, AND my reader engagement (tweets, comments etc.) has gone through the roof (SO many new blog friends! i love it!). it was an AWESOME start to the new year in blog land. 

i guest posted on the art of balance, and in my (totally biased) opinion i think its some of my best work yet.

i didnt get as much time to sew as id like (ive been working at joanns a bit more than usual), BUT i did manage to get a couple of new skirts in the shop, with a new (BIG!) batch coming very soon. 

i changed the way we photograph my shop listings, and i think it looks much more professional. 

and most importantly, ive put a MUCH bigger focus on running poverty luxe like a business, mainly meaning that im sticking to my completely insane business model, and that i raised my prices, so that i now have a wide enough profit margin to BOTH pay myself fairly and finance some major business growth. 

now what about januarys monthly wishes? well, in case you dont remember, this months theme was fresh, and my goal for the month was to incorporate that theme into four different areas: our diet (more fresh foods), my attitude (a fresh outlook on life), the shop (fresh product), and the blog (fresh content). 

and how did i do?

as far as our diet, great! were totally back on the weekly meal planning wagon, eating way more fruit, veggies and fish, and havent been keeping any junk in the house (plus! i havent had any soda in a whole month!). 

as far as the blog, also great! ive already talked a quite a bit about the new content, and it seems to be going over REALLY well. 

as far as the shop, i think i did ok, but i could have done better if work wasnt so busy. i didnt get as much new product IN the shop as i had hoped, but i DID start a new batch of skirts AND for the first time in ages ive been researching and prototyping some new products for spring/summer AND fall/winter. 

now as far as my attitude, that one i did really bad with. see, this month has been really, really, REALLY hard as far as daily life is concerned. remember this post where i was all excited for james working three days in a row? well it turned out those were the only three days he worked all month. and on top of being stuck at home, bored out of our minds, and totally stressed out about being almost completely out of savings, my health seems to have taken a turn for the worse (im totally having hyperthyroid symptoms, but theres nothing showing up in my blood work to suggest that my thyroid is actually up to no good). obviously tensions have been high and nine times out of ten ive let it get to me. ive been impatient with alice and ive been mean to james and ive withdrawn from my friends and ive done exactly the opposite of what i was supposed to be doing. i feel like a total failure. 

well actually, not really. this is actually the reason that ive decided to bring back the "month in review" post. because, even though a lot about this month sucked, and i really sucked this month, a lot of GREAT stuff happened and january wasnt a total loss. 

taking a step back and looking at the month as a whole has been really encouraging. january was tough, and it most certainly did NOT go the way that i had hoped, BUT looking at the big picture, all things considered it was actually a pretty great month. 

ill just have to continue working on my attitude probably forever (it wasnt really my strong suit anyway). 

dont forget to stay tuned for next month theme (im talking about it on monday!)