Monday, March 24, 2014

sometimes i forget that im sick (a nice morning at disneyland + weekly wishes)

last week we had a pretty full week. james was home most of the week (but since hes worked full time basically the whole month, i wasnt worried about it), and tuesday, he was so kind as to take alice to the beach so i could work. this was especially awesome because, drumroll please.... i was able to FINISH a little batch of scarves for the shop. this one with the bow print is my favorite: 

then, the rest of the week was fairly uneventful, i dont think we did anything notable except driving across town to the running shoe store because i found a fantastic deal on the nike frees that i had decided on getting (there was another shoe that was even lighter and more supportive, but really, i couldnt handle feeling like my feet were in an iron maiden). 

obviously why thursday night we were getting bored, and alice has been asking for the jungle cruise just about every day. so friday we decided to spend the morning at disneyland. normally id pack a lunch for us, but james was extremely antsy to get there quickly since big thunder mountain railroad just re-opened (its been closed for like, two years. this was a big deal), so we decided that it was our special family date for the week and wed also go out for lunch (ultimately, this was a fantastic call on jamess part because i had an incredible gluten free pizza that im still fantasizing about). 

we were at the park for maybe four, four and a half hours, and it was great. alice got her jungle cruise:

hung out with the goats:

got to meet robin hood (seriously, in my whole life ive NEVER seen robin hood):

we had forgotten to bring alices autograph book. obviously since robin hood was there (a favorite of both james AND alice) we had to get a new one. 

then after lunch alice had a special request. she wanted to ride the "space rockets" (astro orbiters or whatever, its basically dumbo but in tomorrow land). since shes asked to go on this ride probably the last three times weve been at disneyland right as were about to leave so weve always said no. we made sure she got to try the space rockets:

and i dont think ive ever seen her so excited about anything in her whole life. as soon as we got in the little rocket (which was WAY smaller than i remember it being), alice yelled "are you ready guys! lets blast off!" before we could even get the seatbelt on her. i just about died. 

then after that, james and i used our big thunder mountain fast passes (which we miraculously got right after they re-opened the fast pass distribution after closing it for some technical difficulties so we only had to wait about an hour), and then we went home for alices nap time. 

at which point i did all of the days chores that id neglected by playing hooky at disneyland, then cooked an elaborate dinner, and then went to bed thinking i could just pop right out of bed and make it to my friends bridal shower at 10:30. you know, like a normal person.

well, turns out i was wrong. so, so, so wrong. i did wake up on time, but i was still so groggy and in so much pain that getting dressed and putting on makeup and shoes felt like wrestling a bear. by time i had done those three small things (that I'm sure most people do every day without even thinking about it), i was so tired, so sore, and so emotional, that i just couldnt do anything else. i spent most of the day in bed, crying. wearing my fancy bridal shower dress. because all we did was spend four hours at disneyland and i SHOULD be able to do something as simple as go to a party. 

but i couldnt. and really, i should have expected that. because, im not a normal person. im sick. and sometimes (well, a lot of the time, lately) i forget about that. while having fibromyalgia doesnt really stop me from doing anything, it most certainly keeps me from being able to do everything. and lately, ive been too hard to be wonder woman. to say yes to everyone and to do all the things and go all the places and do all the work and have all the fun.

i feel like this would be draining enough for a healthy person, but for me, each seemingly small activity brings its own little baggage of pain and fatigue, and unless i take lots and lots of breaks (more than even i think i need), to deal with each thing one at a time, it all rolls together and compounds until i spend an entire day sobbing in the fetal position because i tried to do two big busy weekends in a row (remember, last weekend, we went to the zoo). and i really have to stop doing this. 

over the past eight (ish) years, ive learned to get used to living with fibromyalgia. to be happy with a slower, quieter, less busy life than what most people are used to. and most of the time, its not bad at all. yes i get tired easily, yes it takes me a very long time to recover from something as simple as a bike ride, and yes i am usually in a medium to severe amount of pain that no medicine really fixes. but as long as i take things slow, as long as i get plenty of rest, i can do whats important. i just, cant expect stressing over getting to a morning bridal shower immediately after letting myself get way too busy too many weekends in a row to result in anything other than panic attacks. 

i guess thats my life lesson for the week. 

on a much less somber note, my first fashion class starts tonight! 

AND, as i mentioned earlier, i bought running shoes and attempted to get my student id (turns out the day i went was during spring break so no one was there, next week ill try again) so last weeks weekly wishes went well. 

whats up for this week? mainly i just want to get a good start on my classes and get my textbooks taken care of. 

what are your goals for this week?

(p.s. stay tuned for tomorrow because ive got a REALLY exciting giveaway coming up!)


  1. Good luck with beginning your classes!!! :)

  2. Okay girl - we totally need to grab coffee or I can come over during Alice's naptime or something and we just need to share our fibro journeys with each other. I want to hear, like, what led up to you getting it and being diagnosed and everything! You mentioned the number 8, I believe? You've had it for 8 years? I was diagnosed in 2008 so I've had it for... 6 years now. Dang. That just hit me like a ton of bricks because I've gotten so used to saying the number 5. Anyway - date soon. ASAP.

  3. Sorry you're feeling so sore and awful! But you are such a good mom to Alice, i love the space shuttle picture and what she said! You're amazing!

    xx L

  4. Aw honey, you did amazing. All of that is a lot for anyone. Don't be so hard on yourself. Your scarf looks great! Your family outing was a big hit! Pace yourself and don't get upset when you just need to sit around and rest. :)

  5. aw, thank you! since I'm not currently working three jobs anymore (which caused some HUGE problems), I guess I've felt the need to make up for all that by doing more fun things. but you're right, I need to pace myself better, which I haven't been doing at all lately.

  6. thanks Lauryn, that really means a lot to me. thankfully I have been taking it easy the past couple days so I'm starting to recover from the weekend now.

  7. yes! I've never known anyone with fibro (and especially not someone in my age group), so that would be wonderful! I didn't get officially diagnosed until I was 19, but I first noticed that my pain and fatigue were keeping me from being able to do the stuff other people my age could do when I was 16, so, eight years.

  8. thank you! my first class last night was really fun! I'm hoping my class tonight is just as fun too!