Monday, January 20, 2014

ive got a question for you:

do i look like im in college?

heres a photo of me from a few minutes ago for reference:

actually based on every conversation ive ever had with a stranger i can deduce that the answer is a unanimous "yes, either that or still in high school, definitely not a married housewife". 

but the reason i bring this up, is because, as of this week, I AM!!! this past saturday was technically the start of my first semester back at school! i say technically because the classes im starting with are 8 week classes and dont start till the end of march. 

but this is still a really huge deal and i cant keep it a secret anymore!

see, im going back to my old community college (good old el camino in torrance) to fulfill my lifelong dream of getting an A.S. in fashion design and production!

obviously, this wasnt a decision i just made last week, its a pretty hefty life change that took james and i a very, very long time to make, but after lots and lots of thinking, talking, and praying in the last few months its become clear that its the right move for our family. for a LOT of reasons, and im SO excited about starting this new adventure!

now, ive stayed pretty tight-lipped about this decision for quite some time (i mean, i started the enrollment process sometime in october) , the only people who really knew about it were the people who have been helping me make it (james, my mom, aunt, sister, etc.) and a couple of my very, very closest friends. and i had a couple reasons for this:

one, there were a LOT of circumstances and variables involved and i really wasnt sure this was actually going to work out until only a few weeks ago and i didnt want to get excited and make a big deal about something only to have it not happen. 

two, this was a big, scary, overwhelming decision that even *I* wasnt sure about most of the time and i knew that the more people that i told, the more opinions of what i should or shouldnt do id have to hear and that would NOT have helped. i am terrible at decision making, and having too many options/factors to process would have caused me to just shut down and do nothing (or just do what the majority of people said i should do which is how i ended up at usc and that was a terrible decision). 

and three, i didnt want to make a big announcement until i could also make something very, very clear:

this does NOT mean that i am "going back to work" or that im in any way, shape, or form "done" being a stay at home mom. 

because actually, its quite the opposite. 

in every serious conversation that james and i have had about what we want for our life long-term, it always boils down to this: we both want me to be home (and there are many, many reasons for this that perhaps i will discuss at another time). thats what both of us want and feel is the best for our family. 

but the thing is, we also really need a second income. and my part time job at joanns is NOT working out. i mean, its not bad, sometimes its really fun. but you know what, it causes a LOT of stress around here because it im gone a lot of nights and most weekends which takes away from how much i can do at home and the hours are inconsistent and the pay isnt great and it really isnt a job with any opportunity to grow. its hourly, and i dont have a lot of hours i can work outside the home, and aside from a 20 cent raise every july 20th, theres no more money to be had beyond what im making right now. 

i really hate to say it, but its just not a good fit for our long term plans. 

what we need is for me to be doing something from home, that i can do while taking care of alice/james/the house, that has a somewhat infinite possibility of income. 

thankfully running an independent handmade clothing label is exactly all of those things AND just so happens to be my entire lifes dream. 

but, in order for me to really do this well, and actually succed i need to learn as much as i can about two things: business (accounting, taxes, marketing, etc), and clothing design (sewing, pattern making, correctly using a serger). 

now the business side, i can learn LOTS about that from books, the internet, friends and family that run businesses (and hopefully eventually i can hire someone to do that kind of stuff for me), but the design part, well, that im going to need some formal training in (and, thats not something i can really outsource). 

so since we really, really need this to work, im starting the fashion program at my local community college (which, happens to be two blocks from my apartment!). im only able to go part time, so my degree is going to take forever, but thats ok, because this really isnt about getting the degree so much as building the skills i need to have my dream job. 

and its going to be awesome. i hope.  

oh yeah, its monday too, so how did i do on last weeks wishes? pretty meh. i did finish my guest post and i did brainstorm some new blog posts, but i didnt clean out my car or finish februarys editorial calendar. 

so this weeks wishes are just that: clean out the car and finish the editorial calendar

what are your wishes for this week?

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